just a cuttlefish who lives for God, music and physics.

2011-06-18T19:19:00.003+08:00

Miracle. <3

2011-06-10T18:33:00.003+08:00

GAHHHH! I HATE NIGHTMARES! YUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I REALLY, REALLY, REAAAAALLY HATE THEM.

God, deliver me.. ):

2011-06-02T23:05:00.003+08:00

Renewed; I only pray that this becomes a constant rather than a one-off sort of thing. Constant renewal. That sounds about right. (: Our Father has done a good work in our LG, in our hearts, in our little community that shall thus grow and strengthen. It shall be the salt of the earth and the light of the world- a little city on an HC hill, shining in the light of Your salvation.

"We're gonna dance in the freedom we know, because the freedom we know is gonna last forever."

Lord, teach me to keep running after You, because it's You my heart wants and needs to follow. Thank you for all you're about to do in and with my life. <3

There is a calmness to a life lived in gratitude; a quiet joy. - Ralph H. Blum
... And so I am healed by God-given peace. (:

2011-04-16T20:11:00.002+08:00

It's been such an eventful week. And Lord, once again I'm amazed by how You love me and my family.

Everything happens for a reason. All of that happened because You planned it to be so. Thank you for putting them in my life, Father. Thank you for breaking my heart for what breaks Yours. So God, help me to love them and give to them sacrificially. Help me to heal their pain with Your power and Your mercy. Help me bring them to You.

//

HCCO JJANG! I'm secretly reaaaaally looking forward to SYF. Those 15 minutes on stage shall be the culmination of our months' worth of blood, sweat, tears. And so I will have faith. (: DJs are the love! I often don't realise how much I actually love this section. So underrated and all the more amazing. ^^

2011-04-03T19:07:00.009+08:00

Suffice it to say that I am bored out of my wits, which explains why I'm posting so randomly. [Hm. Something tells me that expression is a little off -.- .. I'm using it anyway. :D]

Sometimes I actually believe [or fool myself into believing..?] that I enjoy school days more than I do weekends [except for the fact that service is during the weekend :D], because at least there are what I consider 'tangible things to do'.

Which naturally excludes work.

I suppose.. in school, I receive more opportunities to store treasures up in Heaven. (: I get to impact lives, bring joy and comfort in the name of my Father, for His kingdom, and it makes sense to me that I be doing that all the time rather than mugging all the time.

[Then again, I shouldn't feel that way since being at home should also present opportunities to impact lives- lives that ought to be so much closer to heart: my family. And yet it's difficult to be able to truly impact people who expect that much out of you and are thus, perhaps, unlikely to respond as dramatically to or be as overwhelmed by the same little acts of kindness done for friends.. No wait, that isn't right either. T___T]

Lord, I need a breakthrough; I need mentality- and heart-surgery. And not just for that matter. :/

Every now and then I question why it's so difficult to love, why love defined by the typical human being is so bias and so unfaithful and fades so easily.. But only one answer ever pops up: we are but human. And it's so frustrating. Contrary to popular notions, I don't believe loving someone ever was meant to be painful; love never was meant to cause hurt to anyone. Is it not only because of selfishness and pride that love leaves everyone bruised and broken?

God, teach me to perfect my love. Let Your love overtake mine to flow from my heart and into the hearts and lives of others. Amen. (:

TOMORROW'S A MONDAY. The phrase 'Monday blues' exists not in my vocabulary ^^ [Alright, it does, but I shall deny its applicability.. Oh, no such word? Wouldn't be the first time. :P] JC life really is too short. So much to do yet so little time. Come on, sense of urgency! Strike me now, please! I will work so, so hard for you, Lord.

It occurs to me that it's been quite a while since I've woken up to sunlit sheets of rain upon my bedroom window. And along with a whole lot of other things, I miss that so much..

2010-10-18T14:50:00.001+08:00

NIHAOS ;D

We are having our first class meeting heh <3
It's about a variety of strange topics ._. But I shall believe that something good will come out of it all. And we do have to get certain matters settled zomgosh -.-

//

I typed the above using Viet Son's laptop at about 2.45pm today. Viet Son's laptop just had to die 10 seconds into this post.

I am now at home and stoning and continuing this post.

Today has been a long day indeed. Or perhaps I should say that it was everything from 5.30pm onwards that seemed to pass painfully slowly. Oo

Jesus, Your love is all I need. How is it I took so long to come to that conclusion? Today, I truly felt Your presence, and it was completely overwhelming. How is it that the thought of You chased away the disappointment and brought hope? How is it that Your presence numbed the pain to complete disappearance and had it replaced with such incredible joy and gratefulness for what I already have?

Once again, You leave me in complete awe of Your might and Your faithfulness, my Lord. (:

Run along, my dear! Go on after that angel of your dreams!

2010-10-10T15:55:00.003+08:00

Oh post-promos emptiness ._.

Bored!

Fortunately "there's always WENDY! around to cheer me up! (:"

Alright, and that was by Wendy. O__O

But in a way, it's true ;D

What I was about to write, however, was that 'Fortunately, I'm out now, and for some reason, in NAFA thinking about stuff completely unrelated to Fine Arts.'

I need to do something utterly exciting before I go bonkers. That typically excludes

- going to Starbucks to drink coffee, eat frittatas and watch cars zoom by for 2 hours (activity completed on 08/10/10 after Maths)

- walking aimlessly around Plaza Singapura for an hour before church service, though church service itself was awesome <3 (activity completed on 09/10/10; thank you for the company and sorry for wasting your time, chingu! :S)

- eating eating and doing more eating until I almost exploded while celebrating my dad's birthday (activity completed on 09/10/10, evening)

I guess doing all that was fun. In any case, it provided solace for my soul after multiple adrenaline rushes from all the papers. How exciting :D (Oh, I take that back for the 3rd activity. If anything, the 3rd activity was murder. Eating like I did is undoubtedly not good for my health, both physical and mental - mind you, just LOOKING at all that food is psychologically disabling.)

Wendy says, LET'S go out!

Yes, LET'S.

So goodbye. ^^

2010-09-25T22:43:00.002+08:00

GO AHEAD AND INSPIRE ME ;D
<3

//

The Power of Your Name
-Lincoln Brewster

(Verse 1:)

Surely children weren't made for the streets
And fathers were not made to leave
Surely this isn't how it should be
Let Your kingdom come

(Verse 2:)

Surely nations were not made for war
Or the broken meant to be ignored
Surely this just can't be what You saw
Let Your kingdom come

Here in my heart

(Chorus:)

And I will live
To carry your compassion
To love a world that's broken
To be Your hands and feet

And I will give
With the life that I've been given
And go beyond religion
To see the world be changed
By the power of Your name

The power of Your name

(Verse 3:)

Surely life wasn't made to regret
And the lost were not made to forget
Surely faith without action is dead
Let Your kingdom come
Lord, break this heart

(Bridge:)

Jesus, Your name
Is a shelter for the hurting
And Your name
Is a refuge for the weak
Only Your name
Can redeem the undeserving
Jesus, Your name
Holds everything I need

//

When the oceans rise and thunders roar, I will soar with You above the storm.
I will be unfazed for I have You <3

2010-09-12T00:41:00.004+08:00

Just one of those random moments in life when I feeling like putting up another blogpost.

Mummy's been overseas for the past week and I can tell you it's been horrible to quite a large extent >< Today, I look at housework from a whole new perspective. And I look at my definition of home from a whole new perspective.

I never used to think that I'd really miss my mum from being away from her for so long. As in, for the several times I went overseas in the past few years, each trip spanning over a few weeks, everything was fine O_o But for these few days, boy, have I been lonely at home D: There's just something missing. Perhaps there's a difference between me going overseas and my mum going overseas. When I leave, I know mum's at home waiting for me. But now I'm left to pine for my mum's return. Egad ):

Home is where the heart is. Seriously, this proverb needs to be changed to 'Home is where MAMA is.' <3

Anyhoo, the past week has been more than depression and sickness from being away from my mother. >< I completely need to proclaim and prophesy God's love and faithfulness and just talk about how truly amazing He is.

Metamorphosis 2010
Gosh, what a ride. Desperate prayers, unbroken streams of tears, singing until it was no longer possible (or at least unbearable for listeners).

I wondered why the breakthrough had yet to come. I prayed for a breakthrough. I was certain I wouldn't get the breakthrough. I prayed for more faith to believe that the breakthrough would come.. Still no breakthrough.

And then, all of a sudden, breakthrough.
But not the one I was expecting. Another one that was immeasurably more inspiring.

All I need is to do life with You each and every day. All I need is to be able to shine Your glory through my life, through my actions, through my decisions and thoughts and speech and spirit. All I need is to spread Your word, Your gospel, Your love. All I need is You.

What is all this manifestation of the Holy Spirit? Being able to speak in tongues would be such an honour, such a joy; but does it really matter? What do I want it for? Myself? You, Father? It had better be the latter; otherwise, let it not be. I still have much to learn.

So, for now, just let me align You with the centre of my everything, my Lord. Because You are everything to me, and no one and nothing can take away Your love for me, and thus me from You.

God, how good are You? Just how good? (:

//

Anticipating the end of Promos, all over again. Without fail, this excitement will come before the Exam period even begins. But this time, the excitement is for a different reason. (: I look back at my previous posts and I'm ashamed D: I feel like deleting all of it, but it will serve as a good reminder of my sin.

I feel like spreading love all of a sudden.
<333

Jesus loves you too! And so much more. So much more perfect a love He has for you.
<333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333
3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333

"Time to hang up the clothes to dry," my washing machine calls.
Cheerio! x)

2010-07-28T08:46:00.000+08:00

During PW lesson; in the Computer Lab.

There once lived a dodobird called JI INN =D Such an awesome name she has. (Oh, the word of the day today is 'awesome'.)

Clarice just asked me what a 'dodobird' looks like O___O Um. I don't know. It's extinct already. (Meaning Ji Inn is extinct? I know she's endangered. One of a kind <3)

Clarice just did a Google search. 'Dodobird.' Oh my.

Vietson is being noisy. As usual. Go dig a hole and think about your _H_N_Y. Ahem.

Have you heard of Paxton? He's a bean. Oh my gosh if he sees this I die. DIE. GG.

That's to prevent him from seeing the post. As I was saying, he's another disgusting person who tops the level (almost la; what's the difference? O__O My ranking is within 10x of his.) He has obsessive compulsive disorder and it'll take a million years for anyone to train him to being able to not fiddle with / blow at his fringe for more than 10 minutes. =D

I kind of forgot to mention that Clarice is another dodobird that scores @#$%^&*! without studying / doing tutorials. That's the reason Ji Inn is a dodobird too. (Oh, she says she does her tutorials.) I dislike dodobirds. That's why they're extinct. O__O Not my fault.

Anyhoo, I haven't talked about Si Lei yet! ;D Si Lei is pretty =D Vietson just said more rubbish. Continuing on..

Vietson knocked his chin against the table. All his teeth break off liao. O:

Time to talk about Marcus ;D Marcus is perpetually hungry. And that's an understatement.

Oh, Dinghan (Sculpture representation: The Thinker) brings 'dodobird' to a whole new level. Him and Weidong (Sculpture representation: [wei]dog, as 'The Thinker' likes to call him.) are like some invincible duo of lameness and gaydom.

Our class has people who are always swearing ): We need to do something about that.

Here comes Kok Leong. S: He's a little boy. (:

End of PW lesson ): Time for Econs D< Aw man.

2010-07-28T08:45:00.000+08:00

JC life in Hwa Chong is obviously awesome. 10S6H is awesome too and in this awesome class, there is this horrible person with volcano-ish hair who's awesome at stuff like Chemistry and Physics and Mathematics and it's really really ANNOYING.

But today I beat him in this retarded shooting game =D HAHA. This marks a day in history.

2010-01-27T23:39:00.002+08:00

Dear Clifton 동생,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
생일 축하합니다 (:
誕生日おめでとう~
生日快乐 ><
Selamat Hari Jadi =D

YOU ARE 13 years old. OLD! >_>

Lala~
I know you love the present I got you. ;)

//

ORIENTATION BEGINS TOMORROW. ^^

2010-01-20T22:50:00.002+08:00

I guess my new blogskin isn't quite.. me.

Change is good, anyhow.

//

Going back to school has been awesome. Boring, but we're all doing well. You can't complain about having no homework to do and not having to use your brains at all.

Ohoh, KI Selection Test was.. @#$%^&*!
SRQ + Essay = 1h
Essay Qn: "The complex and globalised world has grave implications on the absolute truth."

...
Enough said. :D

//

I shall share a horrible 'Yo Momma' joke I laughed at (sporadically) for at least an hour: 'Yo Momma' so fat, she went up into space... and there was no more space.

//

Okay, nothing else to talk about.. I have a boring life. At least I like it as it is anyway. (: I just don't like how whenever I use the computer, something in my head nags, 'You're supposed to be studying for SMTP test now.'

Huh, what SMTP test? *act blur*

2010-01-17T11:54:00.003+08:00

SCHOOL COMMENCES TOMORROW! *excited* (:
[Let the war against COUGHCOUGHCOUGH begin. Choi.]

It has been rumoured that there will be English and Maths tests on our first day of school. Let us pray that it is a rumour. (It most probably is not a rumour, though, so too bad. Just brace yourselves for it! Failing is nothing. Ha.)

I anticipate orientation!

//

May the Lord ensure that I not be led astray this coming year, and that I will not lose sight of Jesus Christ even with the hectic schedule (oh yes, you bet it'll be hectic) ahead of me. Help me keep my priorities straightened out, Father! ><

2010-01-03T13:40:00.003+08:00

The 3D2N GECO chalet and the people there made me.. happy. Very happy. Regardless of whatever I said/complained and whined about. (*cough* 6-hour bicycle journey)

Enough said. (: Thank you, all! <3

//

Happy New Year! :D (Hm.. 61 hours and 45 minutes late.)
Writing ??/??/10 is gonna need some time getting used to. And this..

"Ah, what grade are you in this year?"
"Oh, er, Sec.. No, JC1."

D<

*sucks in deep breath*
HWAITING! :D

I am writing New Year Resolutions. The first time in 4 years. I will stick to them! ... Especially the "I will attend church regularly" one. (:

//

I thought about writing messages / dedications to each and every 401-member, as a closure to our 2 years together. But it doesn't feel like anything has ended. Maybe because, since we're all nerds, we'll be trying out for SMTP, and if we get in, then 401 will prevail anyhow- MUAHAHAHAHA.

So I'll leave it at this for the time being.
After all, 401: built to last.

2009-12-23T18:20:00.001+08:00

Click for enlarged picture of better quality!

2009-12-06T19:54:00.001+08:00

“I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken -- and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.”

But still, 믿어요~

quotes ftw! (:

2009-11-19T18:20:00.002+08:00

I can't remember if my blog title actually shows.
Well, it says "quotes ftw! (:"

So I'm going to be listing quotes. Ha. Yup, this is how bored I am.

1) "Husbands should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, and disposable." - Movie: Clue. (:D kidding.)

2) "It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up, because by that time I was too famous." - Robert Benchley.

3) "What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left." - Oscar Levant. (Ironic much?)

4) "You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'." - Homer Simpson. (Oh, absolutely.)

5) "Misery cannot be created or destroyed. It can only be transferred from one person to the next." - Law of Conservation of Misery. (Yes, there is such a thing. Wicked, isn't it?)

6) "At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I'm not there I carry on as usual." - Patrick Moore. (O__O)

7) "A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject." - Winston Churchill. (HAHA, so true. 'Changmin!')

8) "I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you." - Roy Croft. (Aww!)

9) "To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down." - Woody Allen. (... sweet.)

10) "The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart." - Helen Keller.

11) "I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times, in life after life, in age after age forever." - Rabindranath Tagore. (Again, aww.)

12) "Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been." - Mark Twain.

13) "The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not." - Mark Twain. (Darn!)

14) "By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong." - Charles Wadsworth.

15) "For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It's just unacceptable. And we're going to do something about it." - George W. Bush. (Intelligent, this one.)

16) "If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now." - Douglas Adams.

17) "If something can go wrong, it will. If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway. Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse. Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value. For example, the chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet." - Murphy's Law. (Without a doubt. Yup, I'm a hopeless pessimist.)

18) "Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure." - Murphy's Law.

19) "The first myth of management is that it exists." - Murphy's Law.

20) "Procrastinate now. Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now." - A funny t-shirt (Hear, hear! :D)

21) "All men are idiots and I married their King." - A funny t-shirt

22) "Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention." - Movie: Dumb and Dumber. (I see..)

23) "Arthur hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction there and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife." - Douglas Adams.

Finite.

Holidays are full of emptiness. And Physics Attachment to NUS was a fruitful way to fill up part of this emptiness, believe it or not. Tomorrow's the last day of the attachment, and it's been fun. All my hair has dropped out from thinking too much, but people who know me will know I enjoy confusing myself, so what the heck. :D

2009-11-08T16:26:00.002+08:00

The usual overwhelming feeling of sadness and nostalgia.
The usual silent tears.
The usual hidden smile beneath the tears.

"I'm not crying because it's over. I'm crying.. because I'm glad it all happened."

//

"Thank you and goodbye, Teachers."
When you say something for a last time, you finally realise that it means so much more than what you've been making it out to be for the past 2 years. Now, you wonder why you didn't put as much love into saying it all the other times before.. but it's too late.

//

校歌

我们跟时代进行
高唱谐和的歌音
五育平均齐发展
堂堂地做个完人
共同努力追赶光明
巩固国家基础锻炼身心

我南洋桃李成荫
我南洋校誉光荣
在太平洋的西岸
在印度洋的东滨
共同努力振起精神
献身国家社会锻炼身心

One last chance to sing it.
To be honest, it sounded unpleasant, harsh, uncouth..
But we sang it loud and sang it proud.

Cheers.

//

Once a Nanyang girl, Always a Nanyang girl.

2009-10-28T14:22:00.000+08:00

MIRACLES DO HAPPEN!

& 401 PWNS!

//

*HIGH-ING*

explodes.

2009-09-30T20:18:00.003+08:00

MOUNTAIN OF CRAP INCOMING!

"As I bade farewell to my last NYGH EOY Chinese Paper, a tear escaped from my tear gland and ventured down my cheek. With a flourish, I made a piece of tissue paper appear. The piece of tissue ended the teardrop's journey and I smiled. All was well."

I don't like how I can't tell whether a Chinese paper is difficult or not O.O

When Paper 2 ended, I went "PHEW! :D", only to be faced with "SHIT THAT WAS DAMN DIFFICULT!" from classmates.

So I go:

-blank smile-
"Really?"

Followed by:
"Screw."

If FAN JINGJING and LIM SEOKTING think it's hard, then..

//

Two days before EOYs, I remember thinking: "Eh. EOYs in two days.. Been there, done that." *flicks hair, yawn*

Now I keep thinking EOYs are over -.- when in fact, we've only tackled LA, Chinese and IH. (maybe because the 3 papers that kill your hands are over :D and all we have left are maths and science and hmp <3 aw how FUN.)

Really, they ARE more enjoyable to sit through than LA, Chinese and IH 8)

//

I changed the songs by the sidebar. It's the divergence from CPop and attachment to KPop (: ~~Taiwanese idol groups really can't @#$%^&*! sing as compared to Korean bands.~~

You didn't hear me say anything.
o_o

//

17 days to the release of my bottled up insanity.
17 days to endless fangirling :D
17 days to.. *flail*

Can't wait ^^

2009-08-10T23:07:00.000+08:00

booya (:

i think i have successfully irritated my whole family by blasting 'mirotic' all day; my sexy sound system is particularly adept at sending the sound waves through walls and stuff. it practically penetrates solid objects. goes right through them. probably passes through brains too. mine feels fuzzy. shucks i am incoherent.

i think i have also irritated all of them by shouting, 'changmin!' every 5 minutes. i believe i shall be wanting to do that again next weekend.

//

i have finished my book (the one i said i'd be reading in my post yesterday). my reading speed has increased. strange. i pride myself in my being a slow reader. i hate that i finished the book in one and a half days. have i mentioned? i took half a year with dan brown's da vinci code. magnificent. but that was mainly because i dwelled for 2 months on this single chapter full of crap about a whole generation of popes i didnt care about. it was too boring to read, seriously. eventually i skipped the whole chapter and managed to move on. phew.

i love severus snape.

[Dumbledore and Snape discussing Snape's continued love for Lily Evans -
Dumbledore: "After all this time, Severus?"
Snape: "Always." ]

after that line i had to grab a hairdryer to save the page.
T_T

oh and here.

[Harry: Snape's Patronus was a doe, the same as my mother's. Because he loved her for nearly all of his life.]

sigh.

//

i have successfully slacked off my entire weekend; didnt manage to do anything at all. damn. the prospect of hmp sia is @#$%^&*!-ish. and i dont think i've handed in my chinese book reports yet. hm. na-ah, dont think i've even done them yet.

time to sleep.

2009-08-09T19:12:00.002+08:00

Block Test 2 ended a few days ago, so I now seem to have a whole lot of spare time ahead of me. Well, you don't hear me complaining.

I've watched tons of movies. I'm guilty for spending so much money. $$$$$! D<
Let's see now..
1. Monsters vs Aliens
2. Wolverine
3. Night at the Museum 2
4. Up
5. Transformers 2
6. Ice Age 3
7. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

..and last year I watched a whole lot of shit too @#$%^&*!
I regret watching 1. and 5. from the list above -.-
But I could have chosen to not watch any of those (and save all that money) because papa would have bought the pirated discs of all those home.

ANYWAY.
I recently went back in time by rummaging through my CD shelf. I found the CD I had played only about a billion times back when I was.. 7 or 8, I think. I believe I actually understood the lyrics at that age because I remember that I liked Track No. 3 in particular because of the lyrics.

//

Hold Me - Savage Garden

Hey
If we can't find a way out of these problems
Then maybe we don't need this
Standing face to face
Enemies at war we build defences
And secret hiding places

I might need you to hold me tonight
I might need you to say it's alright
I might need you to make the first stand
Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man

Hey
More than angry words I hate this silence
It's getting so loud
I want to scream
But bitterness has silenced these emotions
It's getting hard to breathe
So tell me isn't happiness
Worth more than a golden diamond ring?
I'm willing to do anything
To calm the storm in my heart
I've never been the praying kind
But lately I've been down upon my knees
Not looking for a miracle
Just a reason to believe

Do you remember not long ago?
When we used to live for the nighttime
Cherish each moment
Now we don't live we exist
We just run through our lives
So alone
That's why you've got to hold me

//

Okay, I lied. I wasn't deliberately indulging in reminiscence -.-
I merely saw a video with Yoochun and Changmin singing "I knew I loved you" by Savage Garden. Then I decided to dig out the CD. Changmin sounds preposterously adorable singing in English.

//

I knew I loved you - Savage Garden

Maybe it's intuition
But some things you just don't question
Like in your eyes
I see my future in an instant
and there it goes
I think I've found my best friend
I know that it might sound more than
a little crazy but I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

There's just no rhyme or reason
only this sense of completion
and in your eyes
I see the missing pieces
I'm searching for
I think I found my way home
I know that it might sound more than
a little crazy but I believe

A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I found you

//

I'm off to read the last installment of the Harry Potter series again. Yay!
Oh, have I ever mentioned that i CANNOT STAND random books with book reviews saying stuff along the lines of, "Move over, Harry Potter." and "What are you still doing reading Harry Potter?"

Fine, this is all personal opinion, but anyhow, to those nitwit reviewers, get a load of this: SHUT UP. YOU WILL NEVER FIND A BOOK WITH A PLOT AS WELL-THOUGHT OUT AND AS IMAGINATIVE AS THAT OF HARRY POTTER.

Kudos to J.K.Rowling.

Tata :3 oh, and 심창민 is adorable. Contradict me and die.
><

//

I forgot: (dammit, cuttlefish, WHAT KIND OF SINGAPOREAN ARE YOU?!)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SINGAPORE!

I know I'm not watching the National Day Parade and there's about an 80% chance that I will forget to take the pledge at 8.22pm. But trust me, I love you. (: Really. I'll never take up citizenship anywhere else in the world.. Yes, even England. Why? Because I love you too much, Singapore! *innocent smile* <3

-.-

I'M BLOGGING :O

2009-07-18T14:56:00.004+08:00

eh.

once upon a time, it was the 18th of july 2009.

cuttlefish was at home, happy, minding her own business, doing her homework while listening to 'Mirotic' by DBSK for the million time in the row since the day before.

from 9am to about 11am, there was a stream of ringing of doorbells. a lot of deliveries of food from.. nowhere. cuttlefish had no idea what was happening. maybe she was just confused/zonked. she didnt expect anything o.o

cuttlefish should have known better.

wendy called later on and sounded as if she was crying. 'cass, i had a fight with my parents, can i go to your house for a while?'
cuttlefish replied, 'o.o okay!'

wendy arrived and cuttlefish invited her in.
2 minutes after wendy's arrival, the doorbell rang again.

GECO percussion:
'HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY....' *sound dwindles*

cuttlefish fainted, recovered and attempted to close the door.
after failing to close the door, cuttlefish shouted, 'AH OMGOSH WHY.. AND WHAT-WHAT AM I WEARING?!'

and the celebration began.

//

at 4.30pm, it ended.
and as with all endings, the arrival of that blanket of loss befalls, heavy, depressing, dark, gloomy.

sad, really.

"Don't be sad because it's over; be glad because it's happened."

you all know i can't say this with all of you listening.
i can type it with you all reading, though.

GECO percussion:
i never expected this. i'm surprised. i'm shocked.
i'm happy because you came. i'm touched because you put in so much thought to this and went through so much trouble to be here.
i feel guilty because i'm such a lousy host and because i don't deserve this at all. i feel grateful because i've been accepted so soon after joining GE.
i'll miss you all because i'll not be going for practice for a while.
thank you.
and.. well,
i love you all. ><
十兄弟 (:

don't worry; my tears shall be your reassurance that i will never forget today..

2009-06-27T03:03:00.003+08:00

GECO concert.
in my eyes, it was perfect, because, as zls says, 高兴最重要!

and it was all smiles for me. even when i slammed a door against my bare foot's smallest toe. it bled and now resembles a sausage.

i'll remember the people, the pieces, the pain during the practices.
i'll remember the few minutes on stage, the encouragement backstage as we waited our turn, the laughs on the way back to toa payoh after concert.
i'll remember everything i can with my green-brainer memory (:

oh, i want 庆功宴! <3

//

a sudden thought occurred to me: homework.
gosh, @#$%^&*!

//

i love you, thank you so much. but i'll be leaving for a while. see you when the time comes.. (:

lies

2009-06-14T20:55:00.004+08:00

Today, someone asked me a question. By instinct, I lied flat in the someone's face.

What else could I say?

Let this pass, please.. Before it hurts.

I wish I knew how to deal with situations like this. The only thing I currently know about it is that it's tragically frustrating.

Make it easier for the both of us; just say you hate me.

I could do with numbing my senses. I would then be at peace.

//

Alright, so what is your problem? What is it?
You just couldn't do that one small thing for me, which happens to be NOT doing a particular something?
How can you manage to screw up something by failing to not do anything?

I didn't mean to make it so tongue-tied, sorry.

But my point is... whatever. Just stay away, because you have no idea how dead you are. And yes, that is a threat. If you take it that way.

gouges eyes out; HOORAY!

2009-05-03T10:32:00.003+08:00

I sincerely detest conjunctivitis.

My eyes hurt, for one thing. A lot. I am not surprised. But regardless, it's irritating. I can't open my eyes because my eyelids are like sausages or something else along the lines of 'fat and swollen'.

Check out this cause and result flow chart.
Unable to open eyes --> Unable to read --> Unable to do work / study --> Going to fail block tests.

Exciting. This is really the time to cry myself a river. But then my eyes would probably explode if I did that.

So now you're wondering how I'm typing this post, heh. I'm typing 'blindly', supposedly, and my kind brother is sitting next to me telling me if I make any typo errors and such.

Good boy. :D

I abruptly remembered this:
"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars—points of light and reason… and then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn’t see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything." -Edward Cullen

I can't believe I actually got that memorised. If only I could apply that to studying for IH block test, although it's possible to get past IH block test without studying, MUAHAHA.

oops.
I bet I'm gonna fail IH, ARGH. T_T

Time to sleep.
Toodles.

2009-04-30T18:21:00.002+08:00

I hate how I love Physics so much yet am too stupid to ever be able to do well in it anyway.

Why hang on to a dream that shall never be fulfilled?

only I shall understand this anguish.

2009-04-25T22:00:00.003+08:00

BACK AGAIN TO IRRITATE THE WORLD!
this should be an occupation.
i think it's the only occupation i'd actually be able to go into without need of education.
because the more uneducated and ignorant you are, the more irritating you get.

fascinating.

oh, facebook is confusing me again.
all of a sudden all these people add me as friends, and uh they're display pictures say 'YOU'RE TALKING TO A TRIPLE GOLD WITH HONOURS GIRL!', which hints that the person's probably from NYCO, because it was NYCO's krystal who designed that picture.

the problem is i dont recognise the name at all.

darrrrn. 'oh yeah, this is what you get for joining the most humongous cca in ny, you stupid cuttlefish. serves you right!'
ah shut up.

i love NYCO <3 :D

i think i've said that too many times this week. like waaaaay too many times.

confronting my brother:
"clifton! i love NYCO!"
"uh, what's NYCO?"
"NYCO IS NANYANG CHINESE ORCHESTRA YOU DODO DUMBDUMB. HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW THAT?! THAT'S LIKE - LIKE... LIKE, YOU KNOW, I MEAN, LIKE..."
"are you hyperventilating?"
"... no."
"good. so what word were you gonna use again? that's like what?"
"i meant nothing. i said the word 'like' billions of times just to get some kind of dramatic effect from our little conversation :D"
"..."
"... what?"
"CLIFTON DO YOUR HOMEWORK~!" (mama)

and so that's a typical conversation between me and my brother.

oh, yeah, my brother recently set up a blog.
successfully set up a blog.
i think he's tried it about a gazillion times before.
and HE'S FINALLY SUCCEEDED TODAY. MUAHAHAHA. HE CAN'T BOTHER ME ANYMORE.
*gloats*

i remembver the first time he wanted to try out having a blog of his own. he was a pesky, unknowing and innocent 8-year-old. so what do you do when you wanna set up a blog but you're only 8?

"SIS! SET UP A BLOG FOR ME!"
"why?"
"because i want a blog (:"
"do it yourself."
"BUT I DONT KNOW HOW! aw pleaaassseee?"
(after saying please 9284 times)
"OKAY OKAY FIINNEEEEEE" - i relented!
"yayyyyy~" - clifton hops over to the computer and turns it on; i take a seat on a chair in front of the computer.
"so, clifton.."
"yes?"
"what makes you think i know how to create a blog?"
"O.O"
"-.-"
"O.O"
"-.-"
"O.O"
"bye."
"T_T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

well, yeah, when i was 12 i didnt have a blog and obviously had no idea how to make one.
i learnt in sec 1 and wendy was the one who taught me, haha :D

//

alright let's end the topic about my brother.
._.

time to talk about the english language!
i'm honest i love singapore in general; it's perhaps just the overusage of singlish that uh, sorta irritates me.

haha.
but i call truce. i shant explode whenever i hear stuff like:
"ask him what is his number."
although,
DARN IT THAT'S WRONG! IT SHOULD BE:
"ask him what his number is."

DONT WE LEARN THAT IN PRIMARY SCHOOL IN THE SECTION 'SYNTHESIS AND TRANSFORMATION'?! *fumes*

ah. i see i exploded.
okay i'll move on.

//

i just watched Gattaca (1997) in the afternoon.
yeah, rather old movie (and i should have been uh, studying for chem test on monday).
but it was good (:

haha, i think jude law was hyperamusing in the movie as (real) jerome morrow. muahaha. i cant believe he committed suicide by placing himself in the incinerator in his home -.-
tell me, 'HOW CREATIVE IS THAT?!?!'
amazing.

and he's cuter than ethan hawke -.- and he sounds better too. :D because it's the british accent he's got. muahahaha.

voice in head: stupid anglophile.

...

//

ah well. off to slack some more.
actually, getting back to work would be a more sensible option.

gosh, i HATE stuff that makes sense.

2009-04-25T13:54:00.002+08:00

i realise i typed this back at the end of secondary two.
and i saved it as draft.
forgot to publish it.
that's.. embarrassing.

well, better late than never, i suppose.

//

i guess yesterday was the official end of us as 209-ers.

and this, yes, this..
is my beloved 209.

1. amy

(: hello, sweet little 'shy' and 'quiet' JJ FAN. haha xD keep staying as enthusiastic you are about jj's music and him himself. oh and your love for pink too. (i dont like pink much, no.) i'm glad we got to have a few memories together, even when the two of us are together our personalities clash rather horribly. but, amy, have fun in your new class, with cheryl yangxi and yuna. xD AND PROMISE you'll stay the nice little amy i first got to know those 2 glorious years before. hooray!

2. ayla

xD oak tree, we call you. you're so unbelievably amusing! haha [: i remember i used to stare at your extremely short hair cut which i found very weird at the beginning of last year and you were very dark. erm, yeah sorry. xD it's nice you'll be in the same class as melissa (: and karo and wendy. keep that crazy and lame sense of humour; and that's a complement!! and continue to groove with your saxophone. you look VERY COOL playing the saxophone xD lol!

3. sharon

sharon!! (: i remember last year you were very dao to me. do you remember? you dont remember?! whines. haha! and i couldnt really understand you either with your humongous lumps of cheng yus and DA DAO LIs which i gaped at. hmph. xD but then this year you started pulling my cheeks and ruffling my hair. lol [: sharon is adorable with her liuqin. same class as yingxiang! you'll both be demure three-seveners! at least i'll be seeing you at cca still. and stay as happy as you can be! i know sharon can laugh and smile a lot. yay!

4. xin yi

LOL?! you evil mean little ninnypants who keeps bullying your short cca mate. ok you were nice and innocent last year. but ADMIT IT. you became evil in january this year. pouts. but you've become nice again so that's good. yay (: well i'll still be seeing you in cca, both dazu and xiaozu, so in sec 3 and 4 i'm going to grow TALLER, i tell you, and than I'LL BULLY YOU!!! whahaha. (this is such empty talk) yeah. i refuse to same something nice about you. because you'd take the first sentence to be something complementing already. haha ok fine. xin yi is so funnily amusing and hysterically entertaining! ... but still evil. hooray for nyco and yqp!! <3>5. cheryl

5. cheryl

(: hello cheryl, our good asst. monitress. haha! firstly, you directed our drama so well! i think the audience liked it very much. AND YOUR EMO ACTING IS SO GOOD. (: whee xD haha, apparently you're very fun to be with because you have a lot of funny funny stuff to tell everyone! but cheryl gets noisy sometimes. heh. but it's okay! you liven up 209. so you must continue to liven up your class next year along with yangxi amy and yuna ok!! hooray.

6. cheryn CHOOOOO CHOOOOO train

yes, choochoo, i DELIBERATELY added in your surname. because it rhymes with mine. yay! cheryn choo is CONVINCED she's 'fabulous'. (in her attendance only. ahem) it's ok, you can be proud of that too. it's a thing to be proud of! haha. ok, i admit this: I WAS HONOURED TO BE YOUR ACCOMPANIST FOR THIS YEAR (: lol! i'm so happy. i've always thought i only knew how to screw up performances as a rubbish accompanist but i think i work rather well with you. lol! same class as ruth and chunmei, leh, you hyperpok! continue to be your happy orangey jj-loving self, ok! and continue to be fabulous too, however you define fabulous. xD

7. chongmin

chong/minn! i still dont know what to call you but heck! haha, thank you for being that ball of (furry wool) laughter and hyper-ness! i'm glad to have been there to listen to your problems and give you what you call 'good advice'. lol, i dont really think so but i was glad to be a friend and a listening ear. should have met you earlier last year; i regret, somehow. but NEVERTHELESS, we've had memories together. yay. foursome outings, yes? xD enjoy your a.lit, ok? you chose it instead of physics, so do well! and have fun with loyee too, haha! take care of my fishy for me. lol! and remember i'll always be here, if you need me anyway. cheers [:

8. yiping

yiping!!! green apple xD remember when we FIRST MET last year? haha! we did hmp sia together with joan and chunmei, so cool! you and your zhongruan! so pro (: yay. and then through the course these two years, we remained good friend, yes? [: maybe there were tiffs and so on BUT I'VE LONG FORGOTTEN ABOUT THEM! have we quarrelled before? hm. lol. oh you're with amusing people like amy, yuna, yangxi, regina! have fun, ok? and helpful and cheerful yiping shall remain like that, yes?! (: oh i still get to see you during dazu. wheehee (: we can still go for the crazy outings we've never really had much of!! yay (:

9. erm. that's me.

this is the CUTTLEFISH. yay. the noisy, super lame, crazy, irritating sea creature. good. moving on~

10. yingxiang

yingxiang! we're such opposite ppl because i'm noisy, crazy and extremely weird when you're so quiet.. haha, but we've had a lot of fun times! do you remember sabbaticals; the jay chou and maomao thing? HAHA SO FUNNY (: you make a very cool jay chou! lol [: you live by a lot of your own deep beliefs, which makes you the very interesting person i never got to know properly. so sad.. ><>

11. regina

BAKA NEKO (: haha, i like calling you that. i'm sorry i dao-ed you in sec one ok! but you were just weird =.= i walk out of the mrt, you see me, have this stupid smile on your face and then you wave. of course i couldnt respond properly! i was still very shy then, cough. (: oh, your fashion sense very weird, but it's ok. your jokes very irritating. very lame. very cold. i dont get any of them. but thank you for being there, giving advice and blah! you shall stay as baka neko, ok! dont change any of the things i've pointed out, it was just for the fun of bullying you. and study hard next year, lol! xD

12. joan

hello!! YOU'RE THE VERY FIRST PERSON I MET IN 209! lol (: remember the hmp audition thing? you were right before me with your violin! then afterwards we did our hmp sia together with yiping and chunmei, yup! it was very fun, really [: oh i think you're very funny. i dont know why. but when you laugh, it makes me laugh too. xD oh oh! you're a science and history pro, yes. admit it. yay! xD haha you're taking bsp and triple science so you're in the same class as marie! haha have fun next year (: and i figured if you didnt take bsp you could have been in same class as me! hm.. during hmp i still get to watch you play violin. hooray!

13. huilin

potassium hydroxide, KOH! (: haha, huilin, you funny ball of laughter. i remember you used to be shorter than me. then in last year's holidays you GREW. WHAT DID YOU EAT. NOW YOU'RE TALLER THAN ME [: you're always doing a lot of crazy stuff, making 209 classroom's atmosphere so lively and high all the time! i always say you're very nonsensical but you must stay that way, because it makes everyone laugh, which is good! (: haha! you were a very interesting 'JACK' in our c&d perf, so you did well! we're so proud of you, lol! you're in same class as xy next year, and you're both going to wreck havoc in 309. so interesting. SEE YOU, OK (:

14. debby

hello debby (: i never interacted with you much, either. ah, regret.. regret. i recall doing literature circle with you, though! and a lot of other weird LA stuff!! which is a good enough experience because we get to pull through all that rubbish together, lol. so i can say that we've been through 'thick and thin', heh. ok i dont know what i'm talking about already. o___O haha but jiayou for next year, ok! you're in 302, that's so cool! hooray for triple science. and you're with emily and belinda. i want to get into 302 tooo. i'm sad. haha! and i'll still remember you as a chinese pro and an enthusiastic softballer xD

15. yangxi

the magnificent drama series plot overview sharer! haha (: that's the most outstanding thing you do that no one will ever forget, probably. after all, you were the one who told me about hanakimi! and if you didnt tell me i wouldnt have watched the interesting show either [: it's a rather 'over' series, but i'm still rather fascinated by it, really. and yangxi has the sharpest tongue in the whole world! that's why i'm scared of her, lol xD we all know you like suan-ing people, haha! but it's ok, makes everyone ELSE amused, anyway (: being in same class as amy, cheryl, yiping, regina, yuna, you can continue with your summarising of plots and gossiping sessions! haha, have fun next year, of course (:

16. loyee

sashimi (: i have this crazy nostalgic feeling rushing up into my throat.. we're probably both afraid of the past, afraid of the stretch of darkness. last year, so many things happened. the confusion, the pain. but.. do i thank these incidents? i cant help but cry, thinking about how fortunate i was to have met you. weird circumstances, but it happened. in the midst of all the torment, all the tears, a miracle appeared.. we found each other. we walked through together. afterwards, it was such a beautiful rainbow. thank you for all the laughter, all the memories, and yes, even all the tears. whee, fishy! we've done so many weird and funny things together! i thank God for the day you screamed your first few words at me in 2006.. 'HI CASS'. aeshiiteru! [:

17. marie

AHA. the piano prodigy. the first time i saw you play the piano i really did see your hands as humongous spiders [: i didnt really interact with you much eh. o___O but thinking about it we still have 4 more years to talk! sec3 sec4 jc1 jc2. huh. ok erm anywaay, hope you'll have fun in sec 3, with erm, joan is it? yes, joan. and we'll still meet in hmp so yay. and you shall jiayou in nyse too! oh and watch out because next year i'll poke you when i meet you along the corridor, whahaha. whoops. haha cheers (:

18. melissa

hello!!! ok firstly, we have something in common (i think) we love australia! haha, i can still remember australia's national anthem o__O weird. australia's food is good. one day i'll go there and just gobble up all the food i miss. taha! ahh i wont see you again anymore, isnt it? are you leaving? ): oh well make sure you dont forget 209 though! or 109 either (: hope you have a very nice year and the other years to come! see ya, mate [:

19. karo

ah! karo! i used to be very afraid for you, because you're scary, YES YOU ARE. (: i'll always remember you as the person who's straightforward-ness can be challenged by nobody! the first sentence you said to me was so embarrassing i shant mention it! x) oh and you and cheryn together as good friends is such a funny combination but it's very, er, heartwarming, so hooray (: hope you progress onto be another efficient and strict FM in your sec 3 class (unlike responsible cheryn, haha) so, byebye! and enjoy school, ya. o__O

20. ruth

ruth's greatest ambition is to not swear and be a 'good christian'. lol!! hello, ruth, the pink-obsessor. i have to say it's not really a colour i'd want to have for my bag AND pencil case AND pens AND notebooks. but it's good you like a colour so much, i guess. i love it when you play guzheng it's just so funny! ok, fine, it's very cute la xD and you're a very sweet person, yay. haha. jiayou for 2008, ok? and be the bubbly classmate you've been for me and 209, for others in your class next year.

21. belinda

ah, bel the MATH GENIUS. we've been through a lot of crazily stupid stuff together, havent we? the most memorable, cough, i meant negatively unforgettable one would be math project. frustrating, but at least we worked hard for it together. i'm so sad you're not in 301. i cant believe tomorrow i have to walk into a class with nobody i know well.. o__O but you enjoy yourself in 302, ok? (: i can go bother you in between every lesson, pop over, scream your name..lol. jiayou in track, i know you're doing well. and thanks for everything in sec 2, which is when we really started getting together. toodles!

22. chunmei

haha, chunchun's fashion sense getting funkier by the day. yesterday for class outing you wore so formally!! haha, joking, lol. actually no i'm not joking it was too formal for comfort o__O i remember you were the second person in class i met, because joan introduced me to you and you to me. and we had our hmp sia together with yiping, PIPA. haha i think it was very fun though tiring (: can still talk to you in cca so that's a good thing! have a fantastic 2008, yay. and we'll stay as friends, right? love 209! [:

23. valentia

our sharkloan treasurer! woots (: you've done such a wonderful job as treasurer, val. haha! and the best thing about you is you're a percussionist too!! haha, and you have a funny sense of humour, lol! i recall that every time i had to go up to you to get $$ for science worksheets and what not! and you'd whip out your cash-loaded wallet to pay through class fund! haha.. well, hope you'll enjoy yourself in sec 3, although i dont really think it's going to be an enjoyable year. (stress level_) but see you from time to time, yeah? xD (percussion <3)

24. naijing

nainai (: hello chinese pro.. a lot of amusing stuff happened between us, didnt it? we started hanging out together after loyee introduced us to each other, isnt it? i remember when you'd tell us some weird incident about your, cough, violin teacher and his tummy then loyee and i'd laugh until we get stomachaches! lol?! and i know you work very hard for your studies so jiayou for sec 3 ok? (dont worry if your class gets a lot of prc's, just poke them till they die or something) ok dont. and jiayou for your violin! you're a violin pro, too, yes. and hopefully we get to go out on outings when you can make us laugh again! hooray!!

25. wendy

this section has been edited by me as a secondary 4 student.

whatever it was that happened back then, i would like to forget. nothing can be expressed better than this: *HUGS YOU, WENDY!*

26. peishan

the bestest class monitress ever! lol (: wong ah bo! thanks for all your hard work for 209, your funny efforts to make us enthusiastic about things, and your lame jokes that make us fall off our chairs.. oh, thank you for the times in msp as well, when we do nothing but (cough) talk, chat, and attempt to listen to cikgu hanim.. haha! i know i daoed you in sec 1 when you smiled and i stared back. lol (: next time you smile i'll smile back then bully you and poke you when we meet along the corridors ok? yay! have fun in 304, love netball forever and dont forget 209 (i know you wont) and me either! <3>

27. emily

music prodigy! and my very first deskmate (: hello emipoooo. haha, i remember most vividly the correction liquid at the corner of the table where mr mackintosh sat (whoops) but there were other very fun times in sec one, right? and we must have talked a lot of nonsense as we slogged through in-class comprehensions and stole each other's answers, because we took very long to finish them but it didnt seem long at all. quite sad that after our deskmate period we didnt talk much anymore. BUT have fun next year in 302, anyway, and we'll still be hmp classmates. promise to take care! [:

28. caijing

it's all about your flipping and turning and rolling and what not that everyone will remember you by, probably.. haha! the only time we really talked quite a lot was cultural icons, wasnt it? ah but it was a good project we had together (snigger, we did very well) i cant remember what class you'll be in next year o__O but let it be meaningful, yay! and hopefully we'll get to chat again some other time in the near future!

29. yvonne

hello yvonne, i have to say i'm very happy for you that you integrated into 209 rather well! hopefully you had a good time in this year. and as the only person in class who went for the humanities programme, you must do well, ok!! prove that "this music class is not to be bullied because we can do stuff that's not just about music, you dim-witted prejudiced brat!" ok sorry. anyway. one more thing. if you ever call me "cassie wassie" and whatever again i'll pluck out all your nosehair or something. -glares- so, ya. have a nice year!

30. yuna

yay, yuna! you sat on my left in sec one, do you remember? (: i do. and you were very dao. maybe it was because i talked too much. o__O AH SO SAD WHAT'D YOU DAO ME FOR?! haha, never mind. we had a fun sec two, especially in lit circle groups, lol! but even in lit circle group i talked too much. ARGH. fine. forget it. have a lot of fun next year, okay? you have a few of your very good friends, lol! and next time we meet you shall wave to me very enthusiastically! yay (: ok whatever. cheerio!

- and, i pray, your loudest and most sincere applause for none other than

209.

<3

2009-04-25T00:26:00.003+08:00

i guess you can say i miss blogging.
shucks. i would like to change my blogskin soon. maybe some time later :D

yesterday i got sworn at in a good way.
what a perplexing idea.

it's like i missed out a lot on my life, considering i've left out a large chunk of my life un-dictated in my blog ._.

//

anyway.
i have decided that today i will be sexist 8)
in fact, i'll be feminist. like why the heck would i be sexist and go 'ALL HAIL THE GENDER WITH THE BRAWN'?

everyone take in a deep breath and dont choke.

Three fishermen catch a mermaid. If they agree to set her free, she will grant them each a wish.
The first guy says, "OK, I want you to double my I.Q." Immediately, the guy recites Shakespeare flawlessly.
The second guy asks the mermaid to triple his I.Q. Suddenly, he's spouting complicated mathematical solutions.
Impressed, the last guy asks the mermaid to quintuple his I.Q. The mermaid hesitates and asks, "Are you sure that's what you really want?"
"Absolutely!" says the man.
The mermaid smiles. Instantly, the third man turns into a woman.

hooray!
...

um.
fine. in the hope of not getting slashed and murdered,

Son: ''Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?''
Dad: ''Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother, 'cause I still have mine.''

happy?
good (:

but i'm not happy, so too bad.

A husband shows his wife a study which indicates that on the average men use 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000.The wife thinks about this and then tells her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.The husband turns from the paper and says, "What?"

AHA! SO PERFECTLY TRUE. i love that one.

And this one.

Daily agenda for man and woman.

Woman: Attempt to wake husband. Feed baby. Make breakfast. Change baby. Wake kids. Dress kids. Walk dog. Feed baby. Drive kids to school. Drag husband out of bed. Do laundry. Iron clothes. Clean house. Make husband lunch. Feed and change baby. Clean house again. Walk dog again. Pick up kids. Pick up school stuff. Clean up dog's mess. Make dinner. Call repair man, plumber, electrician, and exterminator. Swat flies. Yell at kids. Put kids to bed. Change baby. Go to Wal-Mart to stand on line for three hours to get one bag of chips for husband. Clean house again. Go to bed. Get up. Comfort baby. Let dog out. Change baby. Let dog in. Get 10 minutes of sleep.

Man: Sleep. Go to work. Sleep. Drink coffee. Have wife pick up. Watch football and drink beer. Fall asleep. Go to bathroom. Lift one heavy object for begging wife. Go to bed. Yell at wife to feed baby.

Oh, the indignity and injustice of it all.

//

Fine, i don't really agree. i was just wasting time.

now it's time for studying. test on monday and havent started, muahaha.
i figure that's bad.
may return later on. :D

CUTTLEFISH IS POSTING?! I'M GOING BANANAS.

2009-03-16T20:10:00.002+08:00

well, yeah.
i realise i haven't posted in a gazillion years. it isn't my fault. i see no fun in blog-posting anymore!
OH MY GOSH CRY ME A RIVER, EVERYONE.

anyway.
TODAY i am going to post something stupid. after all, i come here so seldomly, that i have decided that since i'm here, i'll do something to waste everyone's time..
like i always did back then when i did use to post more often than now.

before i begin, i shall annouce that i have learnt a lesson:
by leaving your blog dead, your tagboard gets filled with shit.

no offence to people i know.
offence to people who have nothing better to do, such as 'a' and 'fabrix crave'.

"CHEAP NF SKINNYS $16.5-$17 ENDING SOON! LATEST POPCORN PENCILS AVAILABLE HERE!!UNIQUE & RARE!and many more," he says.

he's either lost or loony. firstly, my fat thighs can totally fit into skinnies. secondly, popcorn pencils are for writing but they are also edible. i'm gonna get flamed for that.

my brother insists that all of you reading this now are getting irritated by my "not getting to the point".
i therefore refuse to get to the point.
i'll get there someday.
or like, sometime later.
but not yet.

*sticks out tongue* - (an action incredibly befitting of a 16-year old.)

i realise my sense of humour is getting really dry.
and cold.
moisturiser and windbreaker, anyone?

SHIT I CAN'T STAND MY LACK OF SENSE OF HUMOUR.

//

i'm getting hooked on facebook. isn't that a weird thing?
i recently completed a note about how i would respond to certain things that people might say to me.
here is a copy of (part of) it:

WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS LIKE THAT?
why not.

I JUST REALIZED NOW THAT I LOVE YOU
O.O -blush- or *SMACK!* (depends on who it is)

LEAVE HIM/HER ALREADY! YOU'LL BE MUCH MORE HAPPY WITH ME.
i'd rather be with a physics book than an egotistic airhead.

COME ON. SMILE. YOU'RE CUTE WHEN YOU DO!
-stones- or alternatively, give a superbly fake one that would cause enhanced rate of decay...

PLEASE DO MY MATH HOMEWORK TOO!
only if you do my chinese homework 8)

WHY DOES MONDAY COME BEFORE TUESDAY?
why does Tuesday come before Wednesday? why does Wednesday come before Thursday? why does Thursday come before Friday? why does Friday come before Saturday? why does Saturday come before Sunday? why does Sunday come before Monday? OH MY GOSH WHY AM I BACK TO MONDAY? Because God made it that way, you nincompoop.

I THINK I'M FALLING FOR YOU..
o_o do you need a cushion? to cushion your fall?

I CAN'T SMILE WITHOUT YOU.
why not? watch 'Whose Line is it Anyway?' (: or Russell Peters. alternatively, i could give you one of those permanent smiles that Joker from The Dark Knight has...
OKAY I WON'T, I GET WHAT YOU REALLY MEAN. *hugs*

WHATS YOUR MOBILE NUMBER?
A number that can walk.

CAN I HAVE THIS DANCE?
._. can i break my legs first?

MAY I ESCORT YOU?
no thank you. i'm mobile.
unless of course you're gonna tell me some lame joke i can use on other people as you escort me 8) or if you have a limousine?

YOU WERE EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING THAT I WANTED
._. if i were you, i'd want food too, you know.

WHEN WILL I GET UR SWEET EYES?
Neverrrr. Unless you're planning to gorge them out. How do you even know I have sweet eyes? Have you tasted them before?! They're not sweet, they're just really brown o_o

//

that was merely proof that my sense of humour is starting to suck reaaaalllly bad.
anyway.
i'm going to write a couple (yeah right) of really funny sentences!
funny to me only.
i bet.

1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2. To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
3. When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
4. The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
5. A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
6. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
7. A will is a dead giveaway.
8. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
9. A backward poet writes inverse.
10. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
11. A chicken crossing the road; poultry in motion.
12. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
13. A calendar's days are numbered.
14. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
15. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
16. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
17. I sat up all night wondering where the sun had gone, and suddenly it dawned on me.

muahaha. i've just frozen all my readers.

//

now for an abrupt ending to round up my stupid, irritating, time-wasting post.

//

goodbye.

2008-09-15T21:07:00.003+08:00

i realise it's been a long time since i've been here x)

sorry for any anxiety i caused due to my absence from cyberspace O_O i've been PERFECTLY FINE, thank you very much! just slightly bored with the idea of blogging, perhaps.
now that i'm back, i'd just like to warn everyone that it might not be good that i have abruptly decided to post, because it might well be a horribly emotional post that you will not want to burn your eyes while reading.

please excuse me; my blog is more of my means for ventilation rather than communication..

//

here, i address someone who has walked through these painful yet blissful days with me..

this is part and parcel of life; how can i expect anything more?
i'm not sad till the point i might consider committing suicide; how could i be?
instead, yes, i'm happy.

thank you for everything you've done and tried to do. i still have to say those were incredibly feeble attempts ._.
but still, thank you for listening to my pathetic whines, thank you for comforting me the way i needed it in those few days.
sorry i lied to you just now, i do indeed feel the pain; my heart does hurt so much i've deliberately numbed it, because, as i've said, this is life.

since when has any part of it been fair?

//

in life, it seems there's only one way to go: face difficulties, be defeated, get up and know you're now stronger, or leave yourself to rot and die.
i promise i'll definitely get over this, or else die trying.
which, i'm not doubting, may be a better idea. it would save myself the struggle, wouldnt it?

nah, kidding.

what has happened to me is perfectly simple and perfectly commonplace. fall in love then realise that that kind of thing was never meant to come true. suffer and live momentarily in dejection, in denial, in depression. in those few moments, you shall not feel, because it hurts so bad, too bad, to the extent it disappears. you are used to the thousands of knives stabbing, wounding. in fact, you start to welcome to punishment you are getting, for giving in so easily to love and kindness.

the pain.. you must accept it; it is life.

after the knives disappear, build a wall around your heart. a wall so high, so strong, that nothing can get past, nothing can penetrate, nothing can ever open up the doors to those deepest and most fiery emotions of passion, love and hate.

you are now stronger.

it's the most amazing process.

//

and here's something i need to tell someone else.

i know you meant well but how could you tell such a whooping great lie? you gave false hope, my dear. and you ought to know that letting out secrets is unbelievably easy; i would know the truth sooner or later.

now that i have found out, i've fallen heavier and harder than i would have, had you not told me all that. do give it a bit more thought before you ever do that kind of thing again..

//

and the last person.

i'm sorry for any guilt i've been causing you. you'll probably never ever get to read this, which i would indeed prefer. i just want to let you know that you shouldnt be held down by an idiotic, pathetic girl in this manner.

but thank you for your conscience. i guess i havent misjudged you after all. and thank you for the conversations, anyhow. those i'll definitely be remembering. the rest i shall probably erase, as effectively as i can.

still friends, arent we?

//

and here i end..

tango por una cabeza; i've known it all along.

2008-07-19T02:44:00.002+08:00

it all just happened.. like that. in a matter of 3 hours and it was gone.
there's this feeling of emptiness i cant chase away.

the end of an NYCO concert, to me, means:

a sudden lack of goals to strive towards
a sudden vanish of excitement and glee that once fluttered in our hearts
a sudden departure by the sec 4s

this isnt supposed to be an emotional post.
but it's so late / early, and dark.

/

of course, our concert could've been better.
of course, it should've have shined more.

but NYCO doesnt care.
not too much, anyway.
we've done our best, as one chinese orchestra.

and that's all that really means anything to us.

thank goodness i didnt cry..

i love NYCO (:
i love YQP (:

and it will forever be this way.

thank you for the best birthday of my life.

and thank you anyone who came to grace our concert this year.

2008-06-10T23:03:00.004+08:00

it's about to rain, here in woodlands.

there're lightning streaks, and rolls of thunder..
i can see droplets of water parachuting down.
the trees are swaying; flowers are dancing,
leaves are falling.
a single silhouette of a person, passes by.

and the rain continues to pitter, patter, pitter, patter.

i love rain falling from a night sky.

2008-06-07T20:41:00.005+08:00

i shall..

forget.
ignore.
leave it be.
keep my mouth shut.
wash my hands off it all.

because i'm letting go,
for the sake of the following result:

i'm free.

now all i have to do is erase, erase, erase..

the memories of your existence, this friendship's existence,
if that friendship had even existed before.

because now, i dont see the point of it continuing.
very unfortunately, i'm sad to say i dont appreciate being treated like a piece of shit.

or a toy you can fiddle with,
and then destory.

besides, the freaking scotchtape doesnt really help.

and i cant count how many times all that's happened.

2008-06-05T00:41:00.002+08:00

thank you for the
(utterly fruitless, but..)
FUN day, fishy [:

haha. i strive to make this the shortest blog post since the very first day i set up this blog.

and thank you for your sense of humour, which is incredibly funny yet, amazingly, hurts potentially nobody but yourself. not based on sarcasm; not based on the pain of others; not based on the foolishness, stupidity, ignorance, or carelessness of anyone at all. it's the kind of innocent, child-like humour that i've been searching for all my life... and i can hardly believe i've finally found it.

so it doesnt matter if you're claimed to be only 3 years old.

2008-05-13T22:45:00.003+08:00

...

i honestly did not mean what you believe i meant.
i would never refer to you in that manner.
i would never condemn your initiated ideas which make more sense than ever, and have rationales behind them that no one can beat down.

why would you think that way?
it's coincidence; it's misunderstanding; it's awfully wrong.

this should not have turned out this way.
i'm questioning the existence of trust..
if trust cannot exist, what else can?

i'm so sorry, but it hurts being maligned like this.

/

if it is for some other matter, i shall change.
and do what i need to do, to the best of my ability.
because i know it's a responsibility.
and at that, it's something i want to do, for an organisation, for a group of people i've committed 4 years of my life to interacting with, playing with, serving.

i know i've failed in this.
but please give me another chance..

2008-05-09T21:53:00.003+08:00

rant continued from the previous post: (this will probably be much longer than the previous post; sorry for wasting your time, you dont have to read it; just skip onto the part after this part of the post! xD)

oh great. thanks a lot.
now you've decided you shall harrass me over the telephone and by smses. HAHA.
i suggest you stop forcing this nonsense onto me; or i shall really throttle you or squash you into a flowery purple dress.

"Sending emails, even random or pointless ones, to members in this organisation would allow us to bond as a team, even in ways we would never be able to imagine."

like.. WHAT?! that doesnt even make any sense. i could send emails saying "hi. you suck. scram."
so after that short, 4-letter word, 'sweet' email, we'll all grow to become best of friends? which will then enable us to "carry out tasks more effectively, efficiently, and achieve greater heights"?

this is getting more and more amusing. because you seem to be getting stupider and stupider. i should really tell you my blog url some day; then you'd be able to see the light or whatever.

//

ALOHA. (:

it's time for happy stuff (or at least i think it seems happy)
today, i ticked off a lot of stuff from my little notebook
1) bio prac
2) chem prac
3) physics quiz
4) bio worksheet
5) IH proposal

okay fine it's not a lot of stuff, because i still have a lot more stuff to go.. T_T

dazu today was.. empty. because a lot of people had to go for concert rehearsal with guzheng (their concert's tomorrow, and our whole section has to go... for performance/ushering purposes!) or were having napfa.
therefore, the whole of YANG CHING DAH CHEE was gone, and pipa was gone too.
the space behind me and xin yi was GINORMOUS, and the whole percussion area was nothing but silence, and percussion instruments.

so sad.. (sigh!)

dyehkxq (di yi er hu kuang xiang qu) seems to be in a bad state and it is frightening that there's only 10 weeks left till concert.. (exactly 10 weeks! 70 days!)
taiyang is now rusty beyond recognition, i think. we havent practised it in such a long time!
shadier is... hmn. i just realised i havent played shadier or mengzhibali in quite a while, because i was sick the last week ):
the new orchestral piece is still.. non-existent.

never mind. there's even more urgent stuff than that.

//

QIN WANG DIAN BING.

oh my tian!! chewfei says the competition is in.. oh darn, one week is it?
basically, it's EXTREMELY soon.
O____________O
the next xiaozu is going to be marvelous (: we're just going to lian qwdb for, forever!
[[NOTE: it's not sarcasm! why does everyone think my writing has a sarcastic tone to it? ): ]]

jiayou yqp!
we can do it! we did join this for a purpose, like chewfei says.
so we must do our best even if an elephant drops from the sky and squashes all our already bian biangus and whatnot.

this should be going on yqp blog, not here.. hm ><

//

eeks. there's tons of homework waiting for me.
and it just keeps coming.

gulp.

//

"is it 'gorrilla'..?"

"no, it's 'gorilla', mr tan! it's GORILLA."

2008-05-07T21:08:00.004+08:00

rant that shall last for the next 8 lines (at most) only:

i REALLY hate it-
when they initiate stupid, pointless stuff like that.

i suppose you expect that we'll excel by leaps and bounds just because you two initiate some funny activity with a stupid formal-looking proposal.

well, thanks a lot, i and we, really appreciate it. couldnt have asked for more.

//

CAOYUN,

i'm never tying my hair ever again, ESPECIALLY DURING MATH LESSONS. AND CHEMISTRY LESSONS FOR THE MATTER.

sigh, how embarrassing.
i havent tied my hair in two years!
it's not second nature anymore. ):
i cant remember how to tie my own hair ._.
i tried it again today when i got home. i sort of.. got my fingers tangled up in my own hair. then again it may only be because my hair is too short for tying.

this is so depressing >< but it's okay. i like not tying hair. it's convenient! i dont always comb my hair before i go to school, nowadays (:

i said that i'm never tying my hair ever again, in school. but still, i can always play along with a few of those funny-looking butterfly clips you have xD

whee!

//

YUKA GOH XIAO YOU.
was it your birthday today?!
(7th May, wed)
OH MY GOSH IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY TODAY.

YOU COME TO MY CLASS TO SEE ME AND YOU DIDNT UTTER ANYTHING ABOUT IT! WHY, WHY?!?!?!?!?!
okay, never mind.

happy birthday, yuka (:
it's your birthday. you're one year older now. in fact, you're 14.
YOU'RE THE SAME AGE AS ME.
you shouldnt be having such as high voice, still xD

haha! be happy! (not that you need any well wishes along that line, but since it's what you always tell me, i shall say it to you, too! and i'm not eternally depressed okay?! stop saying i'm sad / i look said =.=)

lol (:

//

i like apples, like ryuk does.
therefore i like ryuk.
if i was ryuk i'd make the whole world touch the death note then they'd all die of acute myocardial infarction (AMI: heart attack).

that'd be a whole new way of killing people with the death note (: instead of having to waste pen ink and write names down.

2008-05-01T16:35:00.002+08:00

the world seems to be getting funnier and funner.

//

yesterday, by chance, i was watching amazing race asia (yes, i was slacking, lala)
and there was this instruction which said "want to take a dive with a nurse?"

so OBVIOUSLY, the instruction means "want to take a dive with a nurse SHARK?"
then one EXTREMELY, STUPENDOUSLY smart competitor in the race had to say..
"a 'nurse' is a kind of dolphin?"

WELL, uh, no. a nurse is a kind of ELEPHANT. you have to dive into the pacific ocean with an ELEPHANT.

okay nvm.

//

something else instead.
i saw an advertisement and there's this weird movie coming out, called "epic movie" and it contains the characters from like.. every single movie in the entire world. (da vinci code, chronicles of narnia, pirates of the caribbean, willy wonka chocolate factory thingum, harry potter, x-men)

there's this extremely lame scene:

(adapted from da vinci code)
-sophie neveu shines torchlight on picture of mona lisa-
the words are SUPPOSED to say
'so dark the con of man' (which is an anagram of madonna of the rocks, but that's not the point)

the point is, that instead of THAT, it says "so lame the hair of tom" followed by a picture of 'the hair of tom'.
in the advertisement i didnt really see that coming so i sort of shouted rather loudly,

WHAT?!?!?!?!?!

oh yeah and in the chronicles of narnia part of 'epic movie', the white witch has become the white bitch. that's totally wrong.

i dont understand this world O___O

//

2008-04-26T22:47:00.002+08:00

ohhhh my gosh.

spirited away is magnificent, thank you rebecca.
gong qi jun is a genius ._.

and so is joe hisaishi for his music.. (search: inochi no namae)

(:

2008-04-25T21:15:00.004+08:00

HELLO THERE EVERYONE!

even though i have about 23 pieces of homework (i counted, yes, gasp!)
i decided that i had to show the whole world how wonderfully and lamely amusing my senior is.

LIN JING JOY. ahahaha. she's so funny (:
[haha joy, over the cybernet, i can tell that you're either having this expression O_____O or are going red (:]

her blog profile!

//

JOY is my name. I'm gay. just kidding.

15th October 1992, I got my first glimpse of the world.

ex-CCKPSian, SCGS kim gek & TESer.
Currently trying to juggle my studies in NYGH, in the funniest class of 306/406. (:

NYCO YQP is the love! ♥

adorable. fairly retarded.
caring. dynamic. in-going around strangers and outgoing (a little too excessively) with friends. elegant (it's false) goofy.

MORE about me. (oh how thrilling)

uhh, I like hugging trees in parking lots, drooling like ahfsdkahf over delicious food (whether it's over the computer or on an inedible random poster/advertisement.)

Also, I'm a very hyper person, except on odd-numbered days, where I get even more hyped up that I can blow the whole roof off.

No, not done yet.

I think that ants are simply charming companions, and I aspire to become a successful pet rock owner. If I ever become one, I'll name it stone.

Besides that, I have a strong belief that pigs will develop brains, pigs will build their own rockets, pigs will fly, pigs will soar up high in the sky, and pigs will explore the bloody universe. Shut up if you have any issues against it, you great prune.

And I believe that's about it, little puddings. Toodles.

//

oh and above her tagboard, it says:

Please, no spamming & no vulgarities. I would very much prefer you to give yourself a name and if you're nice enough you can have a peanut ;D

//

._.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

okay anyway, never mind.
today was an amusing day, anyway ._.

i did something lame during dazu. WHAT AN ACCOMPLISHMENT. no wonder i always feel accomplished as each day passes. =.=

ANYHOW. simon birch is a nice movie (:

2008-04-20T18:51:00.002+08:00

MD CONCERT! (:

oh my tian! i drew 2 conclusions after ny modern dance concert:
1. jody can dance, man! xD (had to consciously close my gaping mouth, heheee)
2. jingjing can dance too! (haha jingjing so amusingly adorable when she dances)

and that was my first time watching a dance performance! NYMD, feel honoured! (:
i think modern dancers had something which made the performance very enjoyable:
confidence! (:
and of course 301 md-ers had a LOT LOT LOT of it, wheee! 301's so proud of them (many from 301 went to support classmates!)

TODAY! (:

was out the whole day with mama and clifton.
too lazy to talk about it..

whee.

I LOVE MY MAMA <3>

hm.
byebye.

2008-04-13T10:51:00.003+08:00

'stringed soliloquy'..

haha i think it went rather well. all i know was that huilin and i were so RELAXED [: after we finished our performance.
taha.

xin yi and loyee said that 3 boys in the audience stood up after huilin's performance, clapped, and bellowed, "hao!"
and after naijing and emily's performance, they stood up again and shouted, "GOOD!"

o______O

lol?!

xD at least we had fun [:

i want to thank huilin for being such an amusing violin soloist! yay!
and caoyun for being by honourable VIP (p = page-turner!)
and all the other performers for putting in so much effort, well done!
and the highly amusing audience ._.

byebye!

2008-04-09T20:18:00.002+08:00

this is my 273rd post.
i could commemorate PSLE, which took place for me in 2005.
...whatever.

this is going to be super short but super truthful too! (: lol

--

remember 3 months ago, i told the world to "give me 3 months, i will grow to love 301, as much as i adored 209"?

well, it's been 3 months..

I LOVE 301'08.
(:

and there are too many people i want to thank, in 301, who helped me to grow, to integrate into this class of 36.
the most amazing thing is that they did it with merely smiles, helping hands and utterly eccentric lameness and humour (:
..

it's possible that this, 301, is one of the very few organisations i love so much and am so proud of to be in (:

2008-04-06T20:10:00.002+08:00

yesterday [:

loyee yiping and i went to a LOT OF places.
haha, okay not reaaallly a lot but we had a LOT OF fun, hooray!

we..

1. ate lunch together!

at soup spoon which has super BIG bowls of super good mushroom soup!! slurp. and we shared a tuna sandwich too but doesnt come close to subway's standards
this super duper addictive mochi ice cream thingy, my goodness, how i love food and especially luxury foods, taha, thank you yiping!
may have continued on, eating 500 more food items or so at bugis, which just has too much stuff to eat, if we didnt need to shop.

or rather, yiping and loyee needed to shop. i detest shopping. havent i ever mentioned that?
ah welll.. since it's yiping and loyee we're talking about here, i shall brave the boredom and the crowd for them to find their, er, goods / stuff [:

2. went shopping, yeah.

first we found yiping a jacket, a black one with gold words on it, haha. and it was a bit big for yiping but it's NICE! yay.
we went on to attempt to find loyee a t-shirt and pants, but we failed. so we did something else for a while..

3. took neoprints.

MUCH to my reluctance, heh. but well i havent taken neoprints with loyee and yiping, or rather i havent taken neoprints anyway, in about 7 months. soooo... we went to this cute-
COUGH.
..gay-
er, we went to this.. place with a lot of those machines. and we started posing for the camera ._. i started off hiding behind yiping and loyee but eventually i took a few photos, fine. at least i look normal in them photos.

4. back to shopping.

well, loyee still needed to find her stuff! so we headed for bugis street, i think, instead of the shopping centre we were in previously. yeah so.. we found this shop called 'sphere' and they had very interesting phrases on their shirts o__O like,
'hand over the donut and nobody gets hurt'
'i stole this shirt from that homeless guy over there, though i have no idea why he was wearing it in the first place'
'she's the evil twin -->'
'dont blame me, my evil twin did it'

yeah. i was rather amused, lol. and loyee bought the last one, and yiping just happens to have the shirt with 'i'm the evil twin' on it.. o_O one day loyee might steal chocolate from someone out of desperation, and then put on that shirt, when yiping's wearing her own 'i'm the evil twin' shirt. that'd be.. weird. [:

oh and loyee bought jeans too, lol. erm, the ones that go to down the knees only. the shop owner of the place loyee bought the pair of jeans from wears obscene pants with ridiculously low cut.

i cant believe i'm talking about shopping.

5. off to toa payoh for SWIMMING!

this is what we were really supposed to do that day. swim (: hahaha.
i hate my swimming costume, though loyee and yiping claim it's conservative but STILLLLLL. ah well. i guess loyee's and yiping's was worse. heh ._. whoops, sorry.

and, so, expectedly, obviously, and duh-uh-ly, WE SWAM. and i havent swum in about 2 years, excluding obs. no wait, during obs, i sort of soaked in water, didnt swim. so yeah, i havent swum in 2 years.

off we went to tread water, and i couldnt do it for more than one minute. we swam half a lap and my legs were tired. swimming with your head above the water surface is especially tiring; i think my head's too heavy. hm.

well at least it was all super fun (: whee!

6. home [:

haha, thanks a lot, loyee and yiping! i cant wait to swim with you all again, yay.. then we'd have time to create more memories, lol.

AH. I WANT TO GO WATCH DEATH NOTE NOW (it's on channel u!.. i think), tahaha. (:
byebye.

2008-04-02T18:18:00.002+08:00

short post coming up.

today's highlight: LA lecture!! (which was super funny because of all the horrible / hilarious poems / the way Mr Tan read them all, anyway)
but Mr Tan mentioned something about some people (artists, writers, musicians and all the lot) who enjoy "indulging in sorrow and sadness"..

oh man. there's nothing wrong with that.. it's art/music/literature after all.

i wouldnt be able to live without sinking into depression and pessimism now and again (:

2008-03-27T21:51:00.003+08:00

HELLO. (:

because REBECCA LOH KER is a bug, (bugs bug me, heh)
i am going to post my OBS essay, and prove to the entire world how utterly fake i am when i write compositions, WHAHAHAHAHAHA.

--
WARNING: UNBELIEVABLY EMO CONTENT BELOW, READ AT OWN RISK.
--

growl.
(oh wait, there are censored parts, cough)

I peered downwards. There lay the ground, and everyone else resembling minute ants. The only thought that occupied my mind was how very high up I was. My imagination ran wild with the image of myself falling, with no one to break my fall; falling, down and down… into the doom below; falling, fast, into the pitch-black abyss of unconsciousness, or even the greedy jaws of death…

I lost my balance. I screamed. I snapped back to reality.

I peered upwards. There was the next log I had to grab and cling onto, if I wanted to ascend by that metre in height. And how very high that log seemed from where I stood, quivering, as the structure itself, too, shook with instability.

Deliberating, and with what was probably an apprehensive expression, I raised my hand and watched as my five fingers stretched out towards the log. Yes, they stretched out towards the log, yet nowhere, and I mean absolutely nowhere, near it.

At a loss of what to do and how I was supposed to do it, I stole a glance at my partner, who was climbing the treacherous, terrifyingly high structure alongside me. She returned the gaze, and as unbelievable as it was, she smiled.

She smiled, and that smile, for some peculiar reason, was indescribably reassuring. “You can do it; we’ll be able to do this together.”

I closed my eyes and let the word ring cheeringly in my ears. ‘Together’. As she placed her hand on my trembling one, a surge of warmth seemed to flow from my hand throughout my body, and into my heart. I was indeed trapped in a rather dire and grim situation, yet incredibly, in response to the heartwarming gesture, I smiled as well.

I peered upwards, again. Did the log seem to be coming within the span of my arm, coming within my reach? Or was I imagining things due to the relentless pounding of giddiness in my head?

“Cass, take my hand, pull yourself together, and we shall pull ourselves up onto the next log together... I know you’re afraid but trust me, and believe in yourself, because I believe in you too!”

I could not speak. It was only faith that I had left, which gave me courage to allow her determined hand to close around mine. She was apparently ready to hoist me up further from terra firma, which I yearned so much to place both my feet firmly upon.

It was then that it all happened; the huge fluster. As my friend and I fought against gravity, cheers and shouts echoed in my ears vaguely, and a blur of colours flashed passed my line of vision as I glanced occasionally at the ground. Our blistered fingers failed to cling efficiently onto the log; aching muscles wailed in agony, objecting to any further movement or exertion of force. All I had left was will, determination and possibly downright refusal to fall pathetically to the ground, which crushed my body’s issues of insignificant protests and whines.

When the frenzy was over, at long last, below my feet was the topmost log, and beside me was my partner, friend, support. We made it, I thought. I smiled. The sense of victory and accomplishment, sweeter than ever before, drifted with the light breeze and lingered in the air.

There we were, panting, perspiring, but triumphant…

//

Why it's fake:

1) rebecca didnt exactly say all of that, because i definitely dont recall it being so mushy =.=
2) i technically wasnt afraid, because i'm not afraid of heights ._.
3) i wasnt perspiring when i finished climbing the whole thing; i wrote the word for the sake of alliteration, i think.
4) my imagination did not run wild as i said it did at the beginning of the essay.
5) i didnt close my eyes to let any word ring cheeringly in my ears throughout the whole climb.

Why it's true:
1) rebecca did go through all that with me, haha (: hooray!
2) and we were 'triumphant' after all that, of course.
3) she did smile. she was smiling throughout the whole thing because it was so overly enjoyable for her o___O

haha lol.

happy, rebecca? -.- taha.

//

oh yeah, random stuff.

A piece entitled, Blue :) commonwealth compo! i love their topics

I woke up that morning to the sickening thought of how terribly in a mess my life was. It was every single morning that cruel reality washed over me, immersing me in the uncontrollable anger and depression I constantly felt; a broken heart over a broken family…

Vulgar, crude and violent was my alcoholic father who drank, gambled and vented his anger upon the wife he saw as a servant. In the forever-locked room hid a devastated mother who refused to see the purpose of living anymore. Somewhere out there in the world was an elder brother who ran off, leaving me to wallow in suffering and pain... on my own.

My head was spinning and I was drowning in my utter helplessness and pessimism. I felt like giving up. I felt like retreating to live in my own world, where I would not have to care about anything around me, at all. Somehow, everywhere I looked, I saw blue. Blue had always been, to me, everything about sadness, devastation, hopelessness.

My life is pathetic. My world is blue…

I opened my bedroom door and sluggishly extended a foot. My foot searched for the terra firma, in vain.

I found myself falling. Rapidly, endlessly… I waited for the hard thump and dull crunch of the snapping of my backbone or crushing of my skull to gratefully end my life. Neither came. I landed On something so soft, so comforting, it was beyond anyone’s wildest, most pleasant dreams. I never knew there was anything like it-- so magical, so amazing, in a sense that I actually smiled through all my troubles.

Where I had landed appeared, intriguingly, like a flower. “Poppy,” I muttered to myself. I felt certain it was one. The petals, the fragrance... A poppy indeed. “A… BLUE poppy,” I specified.

All of a sudden, I was overcome by a surge of happiness, of ecstasy. The emotion, was too blissful and too wonderful to be real, yet who would bother? There came the beautiful sensation of being free, worriless and with not a single matter to weigh me down. Blue… such a gorgeous colour. What pleasure and ease I felt… I was numbed of all pain and I wanted to stay that way forever.

It did not stay forever. My delight fled as suddenly as it had arrived. My troubles gushed back incessantly, mercilessly. My thoughts were in a whirl. My head started to pulsate. I began to break out in cold sweat. My body jerked uncontrollably.

Momentarily, I lost my ability to reason. I screamed frenetically, overcome by the ominous intuition that my blue poppy would not return. I might as well have been thrown towards the gates of hell…

I jolted awake to find myself in the cold, dusty, dark attic. I was clutching an empty plastic bag. I had finished the drug the night before. A drug made from unique Himalayan blue poppies.

I needed more, to run away from problems, away from pain… Cowardly, you say. I hardly cared. Maybe I enjoy living in this illusion of joy, in deceit. Maybe I enjoy the sight of my world painted in blue. Blue for sadness, blue for devastation… but then again, blue for my poppy.

Blue… paint my world blue.

AND THE BEST PART ABOUT THE COMPOSITION ABOUT BLUE IS,

IT'S ALL MADE UP. (:

p.s. COPYRIGHT LAW! ><

2008-03-25T14:52:00.002+08:00

IT'S ALL OVER!

yay (:
let's do a summary of all the block tests!

Chinese-- oh hahaha =.= i read the xuan3 ci2 tian2 kong4 for like 10000 times before i understood what it was talking about. and i had 15min left to finish the last comprehension ._. i think i wont fail though, yay [:

Biology-- i flipped open the booklet, saw the picture of the microscope and gaped at the paper for about 20 seconds. the 'errors in the experiment' we had to write down confused me. at least the rest of the paper was fine xD

Mathematics-- i want to draw smiley faces all over walls; hooray it was a nice paper! :P i love those topics; finally a paper i dont feel a need to redo all over again, as that's a feeling i usually have.. heh ._.

Chemistry-- i was in a good mood after chemistry paper as well, so.. er, that's good [: i still think the bread mould experiment question was irritating, but at least i think i wont fail. yay!

LA-- the only two irritating questions were the 'suck pebbles' and 'false dawn' ones. the rest were quite alright.. (:

Physics-- this was okay as well BUT i didnt really get the last question of section B where it said "find the maximum height reached by the ball": does that mean maximum height from the roof of the house or from the ground? hm. but besides that the questions were highly exciting to do, hahahaha. whoops.

HMP-- dont talk to me. i totally screwed up the paper. upon 50, i'll cheer and smear cream cake on the walls of my home in celebration if i can get 28. dont ask me why that number. i was being random.

IH-- i. should. have. written. faster. than. 50. words. a. minute. yes i was timing. i wasted my time, isnt that sad. the last question, rarh i couldnt write a proper, nice, conclusion. sigh. i like the picture, it was sweetly morbid, nicely horrible, excitingly bloody. OXYMORON (:

//

anyway, the main objective of this blog post is to say:

IT'S ALL OVER!

but i think i already mentioned that at the start of the post.. hm. since i'm free now maybe i'll go change the song on my blog. yay!

toodles! [:

2008-03-23T21:10:00.002+08:00

lala.
we're halfway through block tests, i have 3 papers tomorrow and i'm slacking.

cant be good. i think i might fail hmp paper ._. (unable to tell the difference between blues and cool jazz, darn it)

anyhow, i was reading a book. a very weird book. and i saw this sentence and i laughed for about half an hour. it's the sort of sentence you keep repeating to yourself after you've read it. and you continue chanting it and every single time you say it again, you start laughing. then you realise you cant stop saying it in your head so you cant stop laughing.

you know, that sort of thing. (recently humour has been either sarcastic or witty. nothing's been lame. but i live on lame humour, heh.)

"i get motion sickness often, very often; i get motion sickness when i'm on the car, boat, plane and when i'm walking too fast."

haha x)

//

i'm trying to think of stuff to do after block tests, because this lump of crap feels like eoys and it hasnt been too fun.

i'm thinking i should actually try sleeping for a whole day. i've never done that before (because i've never been able to. cough). but it'll probably be fun [:

or maybe i should spend 8 hours watching television. i've never done that before either. couldnt find stuff nice enough to watch. on the last day of march, there's going to be a 'heroes season 2' marathon. excellent. that's definitely exciting enough to watch. wheee!

//

on a random note,

i really really really really really really really really hate mocca.com
...
oh and i want an easter egg as huge as my computer.

2008-03-16T10:19:00.003+08:00

i realised that i need to express my astonishment of how stupidity of people has no limit.
it's only one simple statement really, and it's about hiding your identity to tag on tagboards.

the point is,

if you type as "THIS NAME" at 23.46,
then you type as "THIS OTHER NAME" at 23.47, saying something either utterly random, or just hurling insults,

it's the most obvious thing in the world that you're the same person.

get it?!?! use your brain. it cant be that hard. it's only made of cobwebs, dead flies and bits of fluff.

now be smarter and tag as the imposter like 5 hours after you type your first tag or something.
and even if you do that take note of the stuff you type, the abbreviations you use;
because not everyone uses pathetic, stupid, senseless, showing-signs-of-laziness abbreviations like 'u', 'ur', 'slp', 'sth' and whatever.

the insults were directed only to you by the way.

[my friends who use those are only smartly saving precious time!
i'm merely not used to using abbreviations.]

2008-03-07T18:41:00.002+08:00

Outward Bound Singapore is over. 'back to basics' with no technology, is over, but as our instructor says, the real challenge is only just beginning.

five days, just five days, of being in the wild, doing stuff we never usually do.
just an expedition? another camp?
how could it be?
'bound for discovery, changed for life'

i was emo-ing today during the 'quiet time' period when we just sit down and think about stuff, write reflections on the activities done and values learnt. And before OBS came, when i feared and condemned the programme to be a form of torture and torment, i couldnt have gotten any more stupid.

five days passed, just like that, and it was time to go home. what would i not give to go back, relive everything, put on an attitude even better than the one i had, and smile through even the storm.

we kayaked, we climbed and belayed, we trekked, we cooked our own food outdoors for four days in a row, we peed in the sea. how many times do you do that in a lifetime? how many times have we done that before this OB experience? but we survived. we pulled through. i love our group-- Tock Seng (: [yuhe jessica zhouyi xiaoao rebecca ytene xiaoyou jody yingjing jiayin celine ziqing amaris deborah cassandra] <3

kayaking, from pulau ubin to sembawang park and back, was unbelievably tiring, with the strong current and our amateur ability to kayak. paddling, hands on the verge of dropping off, feet numb, body cold and dirty, but the sense of accomplishment in the end was indescribable. how do i say in a tone impressive enough, that i'm so proud of everyone in camp 1 bravo?

and i need to thank my trusty kayaking partner, yuhe! xD yay, our 'mo qi' at kayaking is now unbeatable, whahaha. i've got to say we really went super fast during the second part of the expedition from sembawang back to ubin. i also went through a stormy, rough distance of the expedition with shiya, where we paddled till our arms really did break off, haha. well done, everyone (:

climbing and belaying. after all the theory, the practice, came the final challenge, climbing up dangling logs, in a duo. rebecca loh ker. rarh. i may have spelt your name wrongly, but you can correct me later on [: thank you for the support as i successfully climbed onto the next logs by stepping on the joint between your hip and thigh.. and hooray, new friend, it was so wonderful when we got to the top of that thing together!

i guess those were the real highlights for me in this adventure.

then we talk about the all the values we've understood so much better, which we have also found so applicable to our daily lives. trust, responsibility, teamwork, showing gratitude, taking initiative, have a positive attitude in whatever we had to do..

there comes all the friends, the watchmates, the camp mates. we've gone through thick and thin all together, and those people, with this adventure, i will remember forever.

of course, all the instructors who were enthusiastic, helpful and such fun-loving people. we've got Mr. Dean to thank, our wonderful instructor, who taught us so much and stood by us throughout the whole journey. (:

i return to what it was like as 'Tock Seng' watch stood in a circle with our instructor, reflecting, talking about the challenges we still have to face as we continue with life. i return to when i stood on the jetty, waiting to board the ferry, snippets of the entire journey run through my mind, fresh then as i reflected and staying fresh forever.

and all of a sudden, i realised, i couldnt bear to leave. tears i could not hold back fell, and moments after i cleaned them away, more came. even as i type this post, they continue to fall disobediently, as there is hardly anything to cry about, yet i cry because i crave to return to the start of those five days.

maybe i just need to say thank you for OBS, because i'll miss this moment in my life. five days of my life in this programme, but the memories are staying for all the days that will come.

'to strive, to serve and not to yield'

'all for one, one for all; teamwork in action'

'you cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore'

OBS..

2008-02-24T11:30:00.002+08:00

i quote my awkward post on the 27th of january.

"math project presentation festival thingum was highly amusing.
...
it's okay, yiping bel regina..
...
and the best part is. it's over. yes i'm positive we're not going to go any further than this round. so be happy"

//

so i tell myself. "so POSITIVE you're not going to get in, huh, dumbdumb cuttlefish? THINK AGAIN."

sigh.
i shall now permit you to slap me.

or pinch me to tell me this thing isnt a dream, because if it isnt, then life must be utterly crazy.
o____O

well.
yes. belinda i do need a 'letter of absence' form.
i'll miss cca on that day.

self-denial: this is definitely not true.

//

LALA.

oh oh, i tell you all a joke [:
no dont sigh at me. dont whine either.
listen!

"tell me where they went, Peeves."
"shan't say nothing if you dont say pleassseee!"
"dont mess with me, Peeves, hurry up and tell me!"
"NO. SHANT SAY NOTHING IF YOU DONT SAY PLEASE."
"oh alright, alright. please?"

"NOTHING!"

._.

okay never mind.

2008-02-18T22:37:00.002+08:00

FREAK.

CRAP.

I.
AM.
ANGRY.
AND.
PISSED.
AND.
FRUSTRATED.
AND.
GRR.

DONT TALK TO ME.

OKAY TALK TO ME.

AH.

rarh.

i have happily deleted off my secondary 2 unseen proses. they disappeared. so er. all the compostions are i wrote in sec 2 disappeared too.

i currently have this weird ._. expression.

i express a desire to eat something.
then i'll destroy something else.
byebye.

2008-02-15T22:30:00.001+08:00

sh.

don't let anybody know.

smile as i may,

but it's all hatred within.

crying, hating and being emotional brings happiness and content..
so none of you ask anymore.

2008-02-15T10:01:00.001+08:00

GROWL.
TOO MANY SIAs!!!

eg.
i detest literature reviews.
i detest CHINESE literature reviews.

IH seminar seems to be due in about 3 days.
we've only just started.

scram out of my tagboard.

2008-02-04T20:35:00.000+08:00

(:

People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek

Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above'
Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love

er.
will post this song someday (:

the chorus is truly.. true.

but WAIT A MINUTE.
i think like the whole world has heard the song before so i dont want to post it anymore :]

it's called 'where is the love?', by black eyed peas anyway.

whee.

2008-02-01T21:35:00.000+08:00

if i could use vulgarities,

you bet i would.
and i'd pick out the most violent and insulting ones and hurl it in your face if i had as less sense as that.
and if i did do that, i probably wouldnt care about whether you end up bursting into tears or just die for that matter.

that isnt directed to anyone.
i'm just angry.

sorry you had to read this. this must be your unlucky day.

technically it's mine too but whatever.

and that's all i shall say.

2008-01-31T21:22:00.002+08:00

I THINK TODAY WAS A VERY NICE DAY!! haha xD

eh.

bio spa was rubbish because i through away a specimen which was supposed to be graded by the teacher. from this you can tell i'm highly intellectual but whatever.

physics lesson was sort of, funny like usual. i like scalars and vectors even though i cant stand drawing triangles five hundred times a day.

lang arts was. wait. what did i do during lang arts. AH WELL. (cough, okay la we did some funny la unseen prose thingum. so boring =.=)

math, ah. er. i'm lagging behind because my computer refuses to let me install the epgy programme!! ROAR. at least tomorrow we're getting the tablet pc home. WHAHA. be jealous [:

CHINESE LESSON. YES I LEAVE BEST FOR LAST. "HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE"!!! WHEE. dies of excitement. I DONT MIND IF THE STORYLINE IS SENSELESS, OR IF YOU THINK THE ANIME ARTISTS CANT DRAW. I DONT CAAAAAARE.

the.male.character.is.so.cute.
ah. i hate liking cartoon animations =.= but too bad.
"oh, loving hate". no wait. i hate oxymorons too.

THE BALL OF FIRE (: whee so adorable. THE SCARECROOOOWWWWW!!
ah.
i'm too high. i should stop.

cough.

cca was very FRUITFUL today. o___O
cny rehearsal was, er, according to mr toh.. "ACTUALLY THE CADENZA WAS NOT BAD."
whahahaa. (: ME IS HAPPY!
but still, we spent one hour moving all the instruments down and 20 minutes playing. not worth it, man, NOT WORTH IT. i demand that the whole rehearsal be moved up to m4-01. it's not like they have to move such huge instruments =.=
i'd like to see modern dance (sorry no offence) carrying up something that'll take one hour. like what. they're costumes.

HA WHAT A SENSE OF HUMOUR.

okay i shall get rid of my super intolerable cold and sarcastic tone.

cough.

AND WE HAD CNY CELEBRATION TODAY AND WE ATE IN M4-01
er.

sh! dont tell anyone.

ah whatever. everyone eats in m4-01, just depends on if anyone spots you doing so. we cleaned up after eating okaaaay. so it's good.

i think our teacher HE should smile more to show appreciation more obviously although we know you're very happy, okay, yes, we know, you're super happy and you understand our wonderful intentions.
i think our teacher SHE should be more enthusiastic about the chocolates! it's okay, just eat it, people dont get fat that easily!! just shove it in, next day it's digested and gone and you'll only have gained about 5 million calories. it's JUST FIIINE.

okay anyway.

IH test tomorrow.
i figure that's bad.
even though it's open book.
hm.

AH!!

-panic-

i wrote a considerably moderately long post in five minutes. not bad, cass.
now go do your biology literature review =.=

2008-01-27T00:01:00.000+08:00

it's time to realise it, cuttlefish.

because life is a happy thing.
God loves me, and He gave me a happy life before i join Him..

so i'm a happy cuttlefish.

----

i would like to proclaim my love to my marimba and xylophone.
chinese new year (#*$&(*#$&^%(&
here we come.

growl.

taiyang! (:

----

anyway actually my point was

life can be happy
but i still can be emotional!

im waiting for huang zhen yi to end
then i can tell the world the number of times i cried.

how exciting.

----

math project presentation festival thingum was highly amusing.

i want to tell haochuien about what happened.
muahaha. he's going to die.

it's okay
yiping bel regina.
it went well!
i seriously think so.

just that i could have handled the crazy wired microphones better.
but apart from there threading wires in between regina's feet and tripping her over (cough) i think everything was wonderful!!

and the best part is.

it's over.
yes i'm positive we're not going to go any further than this round. so be happy

because whatever you say, life is a happy thing..

this optimism seems rather not convincing.
O____o

2008-01-18T22:09:00.000+08:00

what do you call this?
angst?

that's too gentle a term to describe.

well. simply put, i'm illogically yet inexplicably.. what do you call this again?
angry?!

this world really has a limit of terms that must sound polite yet seem impactful.

or maybe i just cant think of them in this state of mad uncontrolled fury.
yes, that'd be it.

what in the world, is ANYTHING doing on this world?!

i think i'm rather rowdy and unreasonable now.
i'm going to be condemned for life or something.
wait, oh, er, who cares?

this world is screwed.
the existence of people on this world is screwed.
and i didnt exclude myself.

..

why doesnt everyone on this world just die?

or why cant i be something that doesnt feel?

can i be a table?
or a pen?

please wash me pure.
i am corrupted, in the mind, in the heart.

2008-01-12T11:01:00.000+08:00

it's true nothing will ever be the same again. but..
i just want to know you're okay.
so thank you for the reply.

and next saturday is freezing-our-butts-off-at-the-library day again (:

i promise.. and i desperately want to keep it.

2008-01-07T21:51:00.000+08:00

ALOHA.

this is a super random and super short post,
but 301 has the funniest but weirdest people ever xD

like seokting and caoyun ._.

lol.

and today was a very nice day with loyee and regina. whee [:

2008-01-02T21:06:00.001+08:00

first day as a member of 301.

the morning i arrived in school i chanced upon quite a few two niners, and gradually i saw more and more till we finally all ended up in the atrium.

we were doing weird things as usual, chatting animatedly, excitedly, as if we were still 209, and nothing had changed..

it was only until i actually stepped into the class when i realised
there was no peishan saying "GOOD MORNING 209" like it was such an exciting phrase,
there was no super-high loyee bouncing next to me, cracking lame jokes, making funny fishy faces,
there was no cheryn choo spraying the whole class with deodourant, being weird as usual,
there was no sign of the usual 29 people i saw in the 209 that seems, now, like some distant dream..

we're moving on.
a voice in my brain told me.
this is 301.
we're moving on.

let go, leave behind..
because,
we're moving on.

give me 3 months.
i'll integrate into this class (:
301, shall be love, soon..

thank you seok ting for being my first deskmate in 301 (:
thank you hanyi, melissa, qianying, peiling, chunen, shiya for the greetings, the exchanges of speech, or purely the warm smiles..

2008-01-01T16:10:00.000+08:00

i guess yesterday was the official end of us as 209-ers.
and this, yes, this..

is my beloved 209.

can i say that i will indeed love you forever, 209?

1. amy

(: hello, sweet little shy and 'quiet' JJ FAN. haha xD keep staying as enthusiastic you are about jj's music and him himself. oh and your love for pink too. (i dont like pink much, no.) i'm glad we got to have a few memories together, even when the two of us are together our personalities clash rather horribly. but, amy, have fun in your new class, with cheryl yangxi and yuna. xD AND PROMISE you'll stay the nice little amy i first got to know those 2 glorious years before. hooray!

2. ayla

xD oak tree, we call you. you're so unbelievably amusing! haha [: i remember i used to stare at your extremely short hair cut which i found very weird at the beginning of last year and you were very dark. erm, yeah sorry. xD it's nice you'll be in the same class as melissa (: and karo and wendy. keep that crazy and lame sense of humour; and that's a complement!! and continue to groove with your saxophone. you look VERY COOL playing the saxophone xD lol!

3. sharon

sharon!! (: i remember last year you were very dao to me. do you remember? you dont remember?! whines. haha! and i couldnt really understand you either with your humongous lumps of cheng yus and DA DAO LIs which i gaped at. hmph. xD but then this year you started pulling my cheeks and ruffling my hair. lol [: sharon is adorable with her liuqin. same class as yingxiang! you'll both be demure three-seveners! at least i'll be seeing you at cca still. and stay as happy as you can be! i know sharon can laugh and smile a lot. yay!

4. xin yi

LOL?! you evil mean little ninnypants who keeps bullying your short cca mate. ok you were nice and innocent last year. but ADMIT IT. you became evil in january this year. pouts. but you've become nice again so that's good. yay (: well i'll still be seeing you in cca, both dazu and xiaozu, so in sec 3 and 4 i'm going to grow TALLER, i tell you, and than I'LL BULLY YOU!!! whahaha. (this is such empty talk) yeah. i refuse to say something nice about you. because you'd take the first sentence to be something complementing already. haha ok fine. xin yi is so funnily amusing and hysterically entertaining! ... but still evil. hooray for nyco and yqp!! <3>

5. cheryl

(: hello cheryl, our good asst. monitress. haha! firstly, you directed our drama so well! i think the audience liked it very much. AND YOU EMO ACTING IS SO GOOD. (: whee xD haha, apparently you're very fun to be with because you have a lot of funny funny stuff to tell everyone! but cheryl gets noisy sometimes. heh. but it's okay! you liven up 209. so you must continue to liven up your class next year along with yangxi amy and yuna ok!! hooray.

6. cheryn CHOOOOO CHOOOOO train

yes, choochoo, i DELIBERATELY added in your surname. because it rhymes with mine. yay! cheryn choo is CONVINCED she's 'fabulous'. (in her attendance only. ahem) it's ok, you can be proud of that too. it's a thing to be proud of! haha. ok, i admit this: I WAS HONOURED TO BE YOUR ACCOMPANIST FOR THIS YEAR (: lol! i'm so happy. i've always thought i only knew how to screw up performances as a rubbish accompanist but i think i work rather well with you. lol! same class as ruth and chunmei, leh, you hyperpok! continue to be your happy orangey jj-loving self, ok! and continue to be fabulous too, however you define fabulous. xD

7. chongmin

chong! (ma tong) haha, thank you for being that ball of (furry wool) laughter and hyper-ness! i'm glad to have been there to listen to your problems and give you what you call 'good advice'. lol, i dont really think so but i was glad to be a friend and a listening ear. should have met you earlier last year; i regret, somehow. but NEVERTHELESS, we've had memories together. yay. foursome outings, yes? xD enjoy your a.lit, ok? you chose it instead of physics, so do well! and have fun with loyee too, haha! take care of my fishy for me. lol! and remember i'll always be here, if you need me anyway. cheers [:

8. yiping

yiping!!! green apple xD remember when we FIRST MET last year? haha! we did hmp sia together with joan and chunmei, so cool! you and your zhongruan! so pro (: yay. and then through the course these two years, we remained good friend, yes? [: maybe there were tiffs and so on BUT I'VE LONG FORGOTTEN ABOUT THEM! have we quarreled before? hm. lol. oh you're with amusing people like amy, yuna, yangxi, regina! have fun, ok? and helpful and cheerful yiping shall remain like that, yes?! (: oh i still get to see you during dazu. wheehee (: we can still go for the crazy outings we've never really had much of!! yay (:

9. skip the cuttlefish,

move along.

10. yingxiang

yingxiang! we're such opposite ppl because i'm noisy, crazy and extremely weird when you're so quiet.. haha, but we've had a lot of fun times! do you remember sabbaticals; the jay chou and maomao thing? HAHA SO FUNNY (: you make a very cool jay chou! lol [: you live by a lot of your own deep beliefs, which makes you the very interesting person i never got to know properly. so sad.. ><>

11. regina

BAKA NEKO (: haha, i like calling you that. i'm sorry i dao-ed you in sec one ok! but you were just weird =.= i walk out of the mrt, you see me, have this stupid smile on your face and then you wave. of course i cant respond properly! i was still very shy then, cough. (: oh, your fashion sense very weird, but it's ok. your jokes very irritating. very lame. very cold. i dont get any of them. but thank you for being there, giving advice and blah! you shall stay as baka neko, ok! dont change any of the things i've pointed out, it was just for the fun of bullying you. and study hard next year, lol! xD

12. joan

hello!! YOU'RE THE VERY FIRST PERSON I MET IN 209! lol (: remember the hmp audition thing? you were right before me with your violin! then afterwards we did our hmp sia together with yiping and chunmei, yup! it was very fun, really [: oh i think you're very funny. i dont know why. but when you laugh, it makes me laugh too. xD oh oh! you're a science and history pro, yes. admit it. yay! xD haha you're taking bsp and triple science so you're in the same class as marie! haha have fun next year (: and i figured if you didnt take bsp you could have been in same class as me! hm.. during hmp i still get to watch you play violin. hooray!

13. huilin

potassium hydroxide, KOH! (: haha, huilin, you funny ball of laughter. i remember you used to be shorter than me. then in last year's holidays you GREW. WHAT DID YOU EAT. NOW YOU'RE TALLER THAN ME [: you're always doing a lot of crazy stuff, making 209 classroom's atmosphere so lively and high all the time! i always say you're very nonsensical but you must stay that way, because it makes everyone laugh, which is good! (: haha! you were a very interesting 'JACK' in our c&d perf, so you did well! we're so proud of you, lol! you're in same class as xy next year, and you're both going to wreck havoc in 309. so interesting. SEE YOU, OK (:

14. debby

hello debby (: i never interacted with you much, either. ah, regret.. regret. i recall doing literature circle with you, though! and a lot of other weird LA stuff!! which is a good enough experience because we get to pull through all that rubbish together, lol. so i can say that we've been through 'thick and thin', heh. ok i dont know what i'm talking about already. o___O haha but jiayou for next year, ok! you're in 302, that's so cool! hooray for triple science. and you're with emily and belinda. i want to get into 302 tooo. i'm sad. haha! i'll remember you so you shall remember me too (whoops) xD

15. yangxi

the magnificent drama series plot overview sharer! haha (: that's the most outstanding thing you do that no one will ever forget, probably. after all, you were the one who told me about hanakimi! and if you didnt tell me i wouldnt have watched the interesting show either [: it's a rather 'over' series, but i'm still rather fascinated by it, really. and yangxi has the sharpest tongue in the whole world! that's why i'm scared of her, lol xD we all know you like suan-ing people, haha! but it's ok, makes everyone ELSE amused, anyway (: being in same class as amy, cheryl, yiping, regina, yuna, you can continue with your summarising of plots and gossiping sessions! haha, have fun next year, of course (:

16. loyee

sashimi (: i have this crazy nostalgic feeling rushing up into my throat.. we're probably both afraid of the past, afraid of the stretch of darkness. last year, so many things happened. the confusion, the pain. but.. do i thank these incidents? i cant help but cry, thinking about how fortunate i was to have met you. weird circumstances, but it happened. in the midst of all the torment, all the tears, a miracle appeared.. we found each other. we walked through together. afterwards, it was such a beautiful rainbow. thank you for all the laughter, all the memories, and yes, even all the tears. whee, fishy! we've done so many weird and funny things together! i thank God for the day you screamed your first few words at me in 2006.. 'HI CASS'. wo ai ni! [:

17. marie

AHA. the piano prodigy. the first time i saw you play the piano i really did see your hands as humongous spiders [: i didnt really interact with you much eh. o___O but thinking about it we still have 4 more years to talk! sec3 sec4 jc1 jc2. huh. ok erm anywaay, hope you'll have fun in sec 3, with erm, joan is it? yes, joan. and we'll still meet in hmp so yay. and you shall jiayou in nyse too! oh and watch out because next year i'll poke you when i meet you along the corridor, whahaha. whoops. haha cheers (:

18. melissa

hello!!! ok firstly, we have something in common (i think) we love australia! haha, i can still remember australia's national anthem o__O weird. australia's food is good. one day i'll go there and just gobble up all the food i miss. taha! ok, make sure you dont forget 209! or 109 either (: hooray you're in the same class as ayla, right? you two can continue to be the invincibly amusing duo! haha! well, alright, hope you have a very nice year and the other years to come! see ya, mate [:

19. karo

ah! karo! i used to be very afraid for you, because you're scary, YES YOU ARE. (: i'll always remember you as the person who's straightforward-ness can be challenged by nobody! the first sentence you said to me was so embarrassing i shant mention it! x) oh and you and cheryn together as good friends is such a funny combination but it's very, er, heartwarming, so hooray (: hope you progress onto be another efficient and strict FM in your sec 3 class (unlike irresponsible cheryn, haha) so, byebye! and enjoy school, ya. o__O

20. ruth

ruth's greatest ambition is to not swear and be a 'good christian'. lol!! hello, ruth, the pink-obsessor. i have to say it's not really a colour i'd want to have for my bag AND pencil case AND pens AND notebooks. but it's good you like a colour so much, i guess. i love it when you play guzheng it's just so funny! ok, fine, it's very cute la xD and you're a very sweet person, yay. haha. jiayou for 2008, ok? and be the bubbly classmate you've been for me and 209, for others in your class next year.

21. belinda

ah, bel the MATH GENIUS. we've been through a lot of crazily stupid stuff together, havent we? the most memorable, cough, i meant negatively unforgettable one would be math project. frustrating, but at least we worked hard for it together. i'm so sad you're not in 301. i cant believe tomorrow i have to walk into a class with nobody i know well.. o__O but you enjoy yourself in 302, ok? (: i can go bother you in between every lesson, pop over, scream your name..lol. jiayou in track, i know you're doing well. and thanks for everything in sec 2, which is when we really started getting together. toodles!

22. chunmei

haha, chunchun's fashion sense getting funkier by the day. yesterday for class outing you wore so formally!! haha, joking, lol. actually no i'm not joking it was too formal for comfort o__O i remember you were the second person in class i met, because joan introduced me to you and you to me. and we had our hmp sia together with yiping, PIPA. haha i think it was very fun though tiring (: can still talk to you in cca so that's a good thing! have a fantastic 2008, yay. and we'll stay as friends, right? love 209! [:

23. valentia

our sharkloan treasurer! woots (: you've done such a wonderful job as treasurer, val. haha! and the best thing about you is you're a percussionist too!! haha, and you have a funny sense of humour, lol! i recall that every time i had to go up to you to get $$ for science worksheets and what not! and you'd whip out your cash-loaded wallet to pay through class fund! haha.. well, hope you'll enjoy yourself in sec 3, although i dont really think it's going to be an enjoyable year. (stress level_) but see you from time to time, yeah? xD (percussion <3)

24. naijing

nainai (: hello chinese pro.. a lot of amusing stuff happened between us, didnt it? we started hanging out together after loyee introduced us to each other, isnt it? i remember when you'd tell us some weird incident about your, cough, violin teacher and his tummy then loyee and i'd laugh until we get stomachaches! lol?! and i know you work very hard for your studies so jiayou for sec 3 ok? (dont worry if your class gets a lot of prc's, just poke them till they die or something) ok dont. and jiayou for your violin! you're a violin pro, too, yes. and hopefully we get to go out on outings when you can make us laugh again! hooray!!

25. wendy

hello.. well, we had a very nice sec one together, us and loyee. there were beautiful memories which stay in our minds, as some distant past that will, maybe, never come back.. enjoy yourself in your new class where you may find friends you deem more suitable for you. we probably dont care what we think of each other anymore, but i'll just say this, that i'll never regret the fact that we've met and weaved many memories. as long as both of us dont do anything funny to screw up our already fragile relationship, we'll continue how we've been since a few months ago. cheers.

26. peishan

the bestest class monitress ever! lol (: wong ah bo! thanks for all your hard work for 209, your funny efforts to make us enthusiastic about things, and your lame jokes that make us fall off our chairs.. oh, thank you for the times in msp as well, when we do nothing but (cough) talk, chat, and attempt to listen to cikgu hanim.. haha! i know i daoed you in sec 1 when you smiled and i stared back. lol (: next time you smile i'll smile back then bully you and poke you when we meet along the corridors ok? yay! have fun in 304, love netball forever and dont forget 209 (i know you wont) and me either! <3

27. emily

music prodigy! and my very first deskmate (: hello emipoooo. haha, i remember most vividly the correction liquid at the corner of the table where mr mackintosh sat (whoops) but there were other very fun times in sec one, right? and we must have talked a lot of nonsense as we slogged through in-class comprehensions and stole each other's answers, because we took very long to finish them but it didnt seem long at all. quite sad that after our deskmate period we didnt talk much anymore. BUT have fun next year in 302, anyway, and we'll still be hmp classmates. promise to take care! [:

28. caijing

it's all about your flipping and turning and rolling and what not that everyone will remember you by, probably.. haha! the only time we really talked quite a lot was cultural icons, wasnt it? ah but it was a good project we had together (snigger, we did very well) i cant remember what class you'll be in next year o__O but let it be meaningful, yay! and hopefully we'll get to chat again some other time in the near future!

29. yvonne

hello yvonne, i have to say i'm very happy for you that you integrated into 209 rather well! hopefully you had a good time in this year. and as the only person in class who went for the humanities programme, you must do well, ok!! prove that "this music class is not to be bullied, because we can do stuff that's not just about music, you dim-witted prejudiced brat!" ok sorry. anyway. one more thing. if you ever call me "cassie wassie" and whatever again i'll pluck off all your hairs or something. -glares- so, ya. have a nice year!

30. yuna

yay, yuna! you sat on my left in sec one, do you remember? (: i do. and you were very dao. maybe it was because i talked too much. o__O AH SO SAD WHAT'D YOU DAO ME FOR?! haha, never mind. we had a fun sec two, especially in lit circle groups, lol! but even in lit circle group i talked too much. ARGH. fine. forget it. have a lot of fun next year, okay? you have a few of your very good friends, lol! and next time we meet you shall wave to me very enthusiastically! yay (: ok whatever. cheerio!

- and your loudest and most sincere applause for none other than

209.
<3

2007-12-30T22:36:00.000+08:00

2

0

9

0

7

i could say so much more.

but what for? [:

2007-12-27T18:22:00.000+08:00

i've revamped 'MAI' blog.
yay.

i think it's reasonably nice.
i edited the presentation of the whole thing a bit. (whaha. i meddled with html. scary)
i like the piano. YES IT'S A PIANO. isnt it pretty? (:

i cant stand the 'MAI MUSICAL LIFE'.

who in the world spells MY as MAI.
go relearn spelling, goodness. BY = BAI. DRY = DRAI. GOODBYE = GOODBAIE?!?!

anyway, i like the piano picture.
oh i said that already.

and i uploaded a new song.
yay.
it's a nice song.

try listening to it, hooray!

hello world. hello singapore.

2007-12-26T22:55:00.000+08:00

hello world. hello singapore. hello home.
that's 'hello' three times in a row. i must be bored.

back from penang.
the land of good food and bloody mosquitoes.

my father looks just as well-fed as before.
my mother refuses to admit she's bloated up now.
my brother's gained 1.5 kg
and if i dont think i can eat for another 500 days.

obviously that was an in-your-face lie.

i love my cousin's television.
it has like every single channel.

i watched like 11 movies in 6 days.
beat that.

hot shots (oh man it's hilarious. there's ryan stiles in it. dont expect any less)
death note 2 (hooray)
harry potter and the goblet of fire (haha again)
doctor dolittle (whee. "HE TALKS TO ANIMALS?!")
ice age (the squirrel, the squirrel!)
ice age 2 (and the sabre-toothed squirrel again, oh man i love that little acorn-obsessor)
predator (hm. muddy movie)
chronicles of narnia (tahahaha. dont ask i dont know why i'm laughing sarcastically)
shanghai noon (owen wilson is dumb. but he's funny. so ya, what the heck[; )
mission: impossible 3 (fascinating)
home alone (whee. the boy is so smart)

oh and i watched like a hundred episodes of mythbusters. whee! they're such funny people (:
i like csi miami. that's random.

papa bought a lot of food home.
ah.
as in ice age 2:

'FOOD, GLORIOUS FOOD'.

whee.

----------

anyway, the most important thing would be.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, WORLD!
JESUS LOVES ALL OF YOU!

OH, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS! (:
Happy 2007th birthday!! xD

<3

p.s. hello duapokeinyqpsocute.blogspot.com, i'm starting to think i'm getting bored of blogging. i'm going to be in a blogger hibernation for a period of time.

goodbye (:

hello.

2007-12-16T22:47:00.000+08:00

nyco camp xD
outing with loyee and yiping [:

it's kept right in there.
i dont need to elaborate.

thank you for the times, the memories, the joy.

i couldnt ask for any more than your company.
that's how much you all mean to me..
(:

huang zhen yi, korean drama series.
just think it's a nice show.
could watch it if you like.

random mv.
dont watch it unless you have nothing to do.
i've warned you.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=cvZxuVlq45Y

youth alive (:

2007-12-08T22:18:00.000+08:00

...
thank you so much.
thank you for this event that woke me up.
thank you for the arrival of sunday.

Jesus, forgive me.
Let me rededicate my life to You.
Please give me the strength never to drift away from You ever again.
Let me live for You, and only You..

because there's nothing and nobody else worth living for (:

Could i start this all over again?
"Dear Lord Jesus, I am sorry I have sinned. I believe you died on the cross for my sins. Please forgive me and make my life clean. I want to follow you and make you the Lord of my life. Make me the kind of person you want me to be. Amen."

quoted from some very nice song:
"I WILL PRAISE THE NAME OF JESUS!" [:

i'll be wearing the guzheng uniform. oh my goodness.

2007-11-30T22:21:00.000+08:00

guzheng rehearsals lately.
for the YIGUREN concert this sunday.

it's quite a nice song actually. just that percussion really seems rather extra; the piece would have sounded just as nice without the percussion.

but ya, i guess this means a mission for four members of NYCOYQP.
how amusing.

i'm playing NANBANGZI. lol. muyu actually. this's the very first instrument i played in an orchestral piece! whee.
well i hope NYGZ does well on that day (: yay.

--

today was a very funny day.
only chewfei and i were present for the guzheng rehearsal and we were let off early because we were good. ok joking, because we were done basically.
so it was about 4.15pm and chewfei and i left, me with much guilt having to leave chongmin behind T_T
yeah so, we went to west mall o__O
because we were bored, yes, that'll be the reason.

and we went to eat.
...
chewfei was hungry, lol xD
chewy enjoys her cheese very much. whee. and her junk food.
whatever. everyone loves junk food.

and after that we went to the supermarket .____________.
because we were bored, yes.
and we started 'shopping' when we only had a total of 10cents left in our pockets.
we discovered we can buy a tiny 5ml packet of soya sauce with 10cents. wow.

and we had a lot of fun at the cold foods section (:
ice cream, frozen meat, whatever, i cant remember anything properly.
and i cant remember what i said but apparently it was very funny stuff because chewfei kept laughing.
o__O
i think i was just being weird.
but at least i made someone laugh, yay!
i have a sense of humour!!! amazing.
making someone laugh is a day not wasted. whee.

some day, today.
lala.

---

mama says papa's biased towards my brother.
mama says papa sends my brother to places like pasir ris just to visit a friend but just wont fetch me to school.
and mama gets angry because of that..

not that i mind.
i dont even care, really.

i'd rather have mama keep quiet and say nothing.
than have mama telling papa about how he doesnt care about me at all.
because papa does care, to a certain extent.
i love papa.

i love mama too.
mama loves me a lot (:

but because of papa not fetching me to school today,
now mama and papa wont talk to each other.

then i ask myself why this had happened.

and i realise
...
'if i didnt exist, then all this wouldnt happen, would it?'

AND..

2007-11-26T22:31:00.000+08:00

a funny random thing.
it's the best one i've seen yet. lol! (:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=dNAaqSJnqDg
www.freewebs.com/potterpuppetpalslivetranscript

the video and the script.

yes, it's potter puppet pals.
and it's beyond adorable.

lynjc o__O

2007-11-26T21:31:00.000+08:00

loyeenaijingcass!
ok that was random.

but we've had a two-days-in-a-row outing! xD

24th november,

we went to see yiping's external chinese drama performance (:

and yiping was excellent with the portrayal of her role as a sprinter about to represent singapore in the SEA games or something.
but then she was faced with an accident and became handicapped, after which she was prepared to give up her ambition of obtaining a gold medal for singapore...
how nice! (:
and yes, yiping was very good. xD and very funny too, with her panting and unusually super high voice (whoops) and acting cute (the role required it) when her coach-cum-father patted her on her head and she said "不要这样啊! 我已经15岁了!"

HAHA! how adorable (:

oh yeah.
i cant believe she didnt laugh.

usually yiping laughs at everything. whoops.
seriously, with that weird ringtone of hers which went off at least 6 times, lol. and her extremely amusing coach-cum-father.

well done, apple!

//

25th november, loyee and her family took me and naijing to the movies.. lol.

THANK YOU FOR THE TICKETS!

ya, we watched enchanted.
haha!
the title makes it seem as if it has a really irritatingly corny and typical plot, but it's uber funny.
it's a story about a princess, prince and a chipmunk from a fairytale and they're brought into the real world o__O
they look like weirdos with their funny costumes and 'unique' perspectives of the technology all around them. they think televisions are magic mirrors and the remote control is the magic box which controls the magic mirror.

like..

Prince Edward: [talking to a TV] Magic Mirror. I beg you. Tell me where she is!

Reporter: [on TV] Reporting live from 116th and Broadway.

Prince Edward: One hundred and sixteenth and Broadway! [hugs the TV]

Prince Edward: Thank you mirror! [Kisses it and runs off]

--

yeah, it's a whole lot of funny stuff and i found it very amusing, lol! xD

--

Prince Edward: [atop a moving bus] You've met your match, foul beast. Ha ha ha ha ha. [he stabs the roof with his sword]

Bus Driver: [charging out of the bus] ARE YOU CRAZY? NOBODY STABS MY BUS.

--

Prince Edward: [threatening Robert with his sword] Have you any last words?

Robert: [splutters] You have got to be kidding me!

Prince Edward: Hm. Strange words.

--

Nathaniel: Sire, do you... like yourself?

Prince Edward: What's not to like?

'ok'.

2007-11-22T23:06:00.000+08:00

'ok is such a boring word', she says.

yes, technically, i'd have to agree with that.
but i'm in a boring state of mind now.

no i'm not bored, i just dont appeal to audiences. at the moment, anyway.

i'm, boring.

yeah.

//

i'm feeling warm because of the stupid room temperature and i feel cold.
what contradiction.
thank you for inventing tissue paper for my leaky nose.

i'm turning off the fan.
..

darn.
it's warm.

//

recently i've avoided AT LEAST (yes i count) 13 calls.
mama says i was either sleeping or bathing or daydreaming while watching heroes, or something.

sorry about the timing.
13 calls, 7 different people.
i'm sorry.

//

anyway.
i think linlaoshi is a very interesting conductor.
he's very hyper-enthusiastic about stuff while the rest of the whole orchestra is like..

daydreaming
sinking into chair/onto floor
dozing
heads nodding
falling asleep
..
asleep.

he's exasperatingly patient, but i guess that's a virtue.

linlaoshi has composed a very nice piece, though.
mengzhibali (: haha.
it's very very nice.

xy's (i think that's the first time i'm typing that instead of xin yi, but yup i'm feeling lazy)
vibraphone part is too adorable.
i shant talk about it.

my xylophone part at the last two bars is extra but equally adorable.
WHAHAHA.

linlaoshi's composed stuff is cool. verrry cool.

//

i'd like to go back to taiyang soon, though.
i'd not like to start on diyierhukuangxiangqu. it's such a long title.

from now on.
taiyang = taiyang
diyierhukuangxiangqu = diyierhu
mengzhibali = bali

very nice.

//

i seem to need to return loyee pants and regina, shorts.
ah, yes.

//

i quite remember i wanted to type something else.
but now, i cant remember.

oh yes, that'd be it.

i cant stand contradictions.
nope, i dont like it.
i do it all the time. i 'sit on the fence', as they say.
but i dont like contradictions.
ah.

i'm having mood swings again.

i like you.
i dont like you.
i'm happy.
i'm pissed.
i'm a girl.
no, haha, i'm a boy, because my body produces the steroid hormone, TESTOSTERONE, in LARGE AMOUNTS from my OVARIES.

see, even that's contradictory.

Note if you dont understand why it's contradictory because you dont study your biology:
Males produce the hormone testosterone in large amounts from his testes, and is the main male sex hormone which help in enhanced sexual desire but also immunity to diseases and protection against the bone disease osteoporosis. Females produce this hormone, testosterone in only very small amounts from their ovaries, having the same functions but to a much lesser extent.

Further Note:
That was not sick, it was science.

ok.
that was off.
and, i'm a girl. i assure you that.

that was random.
i want to sleep.

oh.
one day, i shall carry out the human genome project too.
to find different stuff.
i'll freak out at a person with spontaneous regeneration, really, no matter how fascinatingly wicked it is.

Another note: 'wicked' is colloquial language for 'cool', not that 'cool' is really formal language either.

Source of the small tiny notes above: Neurons outside my central nervous system.

say 'hello' to my bed.

I'M HIGH!!!!

2007-11-18T19:27:00.000+08:00

YES
I AM, indeed, HIGH.

I'M UTTERLY, CRAZILY, DRAMATICALLY, SPASTICALLY HIGH.
HA.
HA.
HA.

PINCH ME.
TELL ME THIS REALLY IS REAL.

-pinch-

I'M NOT DREAMING!!!

I HAD TO RETYPE MY 14-LETTER LONG PASSWORD 5 TIMES JUST NOW BECAUSE I WAS LITERALLY SHIVERING WITH EXCITEMENT.
BUT THEN I REALISED MY PASSWORD WASNT WRONG, IT WAS MY USERNAME WHICH WAS WRONG. HAHA.

I SHALL GET TO THE POINT.

//

cough.

my papa has just come home from a 3 day 2 night trip to brunei (:
to escort a few ministers for political discussions over some weirdo golfing session.
ANDANDAND. papa bought a lot of stuff from there.

i shall BUILD UP, till the climax. start off with dumb, uninteresting stuff.

for the BROTHER.
some weirdo worthless CDs on rubbish wrestling, a few gameboy cartridges. -rolls eyes-

for the PAPA. aka himself.
CDs with OLDIES!! haha, papa likes oldies. ok maybe not too old but it's not considered 'in trend' either. like, eagles and stuff by feiyuqing.

for the MAMA.
he bought food. he bought hot chocolate, avocado and blahblah. (: my mama likes avocado, but it is quite nice la, so fine then. at least it's not something else like celery. blua.

for the ME.
HAHA.
here's the exciting part (:

in order, as usual, from ok--> SO WONDERFULLY MAGNIFICENTLY EXCITING.
and papa took these out from his bag one by one, too. he KNOWS me well (: lol!

1. firstly, he bought the dvd for bee movie (: lol! it seems quite interesting. i wanted to watch it. so i'm like 'COOL, MAN!'

2. and he bought a dvd with the compilation of OCEAN'S ELEVEN, TWELVE, AND THIRTEEN!!!! (: haha i was so high already. and i started rattling about how nice ocean's thirteen was. (i watched it with loyee and her family, lol!!!)

3. drumroll please!! i almost fainted at this point.

hold on. let me click the 'LARGEST' font size.

OK. READY?!

PAPA BOUGHT THE DVDs FOR THE WHOLE OF SEASON ONE OF.

(if only there were a font size even bigger than this)

HEROES (:

smiles!
i'm so happyyyyyyyyyyy! haha.

i'm a tv serial and movie addict or something, HAHA, i'm happyhappyhappy [:
i keep laughing to myself every few seconds.

//

anyway.

on a more 'grave' note.

i think the movie for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is seriously WAY OFF STANDARD.
it's horrible.
horribly boring.

HOORAY FOR THE BOOK.
YES, THE BOOK.

whee! heroes! hiro nakamura, lol!

I CANT STAND IT ANYMORE.

2007-11-18T11:07:00.000+08:00

according to the TITLE UP THERE, you can probably infer that this post is about

COMPLAINING AND RANTING

about stuff that's absolutely NOT WORTH COMPLAINING AND RANTING ABOUT.

but seeing as i'm being attacked by "MR B.", OR SO XIN YI STATES ON HER BLOG, and i'm bored, bored, BORED,

i shall indeed complain and rant about a silly insignificant little piece of rubbish..

ahem.

WHY. WHY. WHY.
NO, SERIOUSLY, MRS EE, 18TH JULY 2008 IS NOT A GOOD DATE FOR OUR TO-BE-MAGNIFICENT CONCERT NEXT YEAR.
TO BE VERY VERY HONEST, I DONT REALLY HAVE A CLUE WHY IT'S NOT A GOOD DATE.
LET'S CALL IT INTUITION!! YES, INTUITION, INSTINCT! IT'S NOT NOT NOT A GOOD DATE FOR A CONCERT.
BECAUSE, ERM, ER, AH, EH.
WELL.

give me time to think up a reason.

AH FINE, OK. THIS IS NOT A GOOD REASON BUT IT'S A REASON! NOT AN EXCUSE, A REASON!
OR MAYBE IT IS INDEED AN EXCUSE.
GROWL.
THERE ARE PEOPLE WITH BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DAY!! AND USUALLY WHEN A PERSON HAS HER BIRTHDAY, SHE STARTS GETTING JUMPITY AND NERVOUS AND CRAZY AND HYPER AND WAY TOO HEAD-IN-THE-CLOUDS-ISH ESPECIALLY WHEN FACED WITH THESE TYPE OF BIG EVENTS. AND OF COURSE IF IT'S A BIG EVENT, WE CANT AFFORD TO SCREW IT UP BUT SINCE THERE'S A PERSON'S BIRTHDAY ON THIS DAY, SHE WILL SCREW IT UP.
SEE SEE? IT MAKES SENSE, RIGHT? RIGHTRIGHTRIGHT?!?!?!?!?

..

you dont see?

=.= never mind.
coughs.
i need chocolate.

it's ecp again!! xD

2007-11-16T20:28:00.000+08:00

i think i'm starting to get extremely naggy again.
so typing this is for my own joy of reliving whatever has happened today.

so read at your own attention span's risk, thank you.

//

209 had a class outing today!!

or, a half-a-class outing, yeah. only 16 people, lol!

but it was very fun. hooray [:

//

met in school at 12nn.

everyone was ready, all in class tee! WO MEN XIN LING XIANG TONG. xD yay! cheryn brought her blue pillow with a retarded giraffe on it. but it's so cute. -smiles-

regina and belinda were 'da pai' and were late, haha! and regina looked so COOL AND CALM like a weirdo ORANGE, GREY, GREEN, MISMATCHED FASHION SENSE cucumber.
aww. how 'adorable'. (:

OK FINE YOU LOOK OK LA. (actually no you dont. you have very girl-ish shoes. heehee.)

and belinda was like running and panting from as far as i could see outside the school gate. haha!

//

anyway, we left for east coast park!! wheeya.
took 66 ALL THE WAY TO BEDOK. SO FAR, MAN. GROWL.

i plopped on a seat rather easily and started pretending to sleep. (i'm sorry loyee and yiping, you thought i really was asleep, paiseh. i just wanted to think about stuff.)

so i started thinking about 209. again, like i had the night before, the day before the night before, the day before the day before the night before... etc.

"209 is the only class i've ever truly loved and belonged to."
there was this little voice in me making a confession.

in primary school it was always "oh i like this person. she's a nice friend.. etc"
i've never felt a part of 3H, 4H, 5H or 6I, honestly. i'm sorry i have to say that; it's only but the truth.

all we had been through together, every single day, every event that has past, all those i could still remember ran through my mind; the laughter, the smiles, the love.

loyee and yiping were giving suggestions as to make me sleep more comfortably. i felt like laughing because i was so happy. and then cheryn saw me and offered her blue giraffe pillow. the memories of them always by my side then washed over me.

and i started crying on the bus.

ah. wow. i'm... rather pathetic. ha.

then after persuasion and cracking of lame jokes from loyee, i stopped crying.
then peishan comforted me too.
i started crying again.

growl. if i gouge out my eyes maybe i wont be able to cry anymore. aha!

oh yeah, apparently halfway through the journey we started singing random songs by westlife.
o__O like, uptown girl. lol xD

//

we reached bedok interchange (: and we all started eating xD mcdonalds. blua.
we'll all die of blood pressure, bad cholesterol, blocked arteries, heart attack and so on.
ok i was joking. no actually i'm not joking. it's possible.... whatever.

huilin and her cousin boarded the bus we were on a few stops before bedok interchange, apparently xD and xin yi joined us at mcdonalds. whee.

after the food we walked to east coast park (:
"it's very near. a very short distance away. just across here." says xin yi.
"OK!" we chorused excitedly.

and we walk.

cheryn "who said it was very near one ah? very near meh? what the hell. so tiring."
o__O lol!

and we walk more, or rather, we bounce, skip, jump and pirouette (quite sure that's wrong) more.

cass "okaay. that's it.. xin yi ah. what do you mean it's near?! very far eh. i'm tired. pantpant are we there yet?!"

xin yi starts jogging.
-stares; runs after; the rest of them start running too-

xin yi stops running.
cass "where in the world is ecp?" (confused and tired)

xin yi starts running again.
-glares; runs after again; the rest of them who slowed down to a stroll before started jogging again-

xin yi stops in her tracks before an underpass and SMILES.
cuttlefish, here, gets it.
cuttlefish, here, UNDERSTANDS that evil xin yi brought them in one big circle. WELL THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR LETTING US BURN OUR FATS, LIKE YOU SAID. ha.
..

LOL?!?! and xin yi speeds off down into the underpass and across it, and up again. then 209 starts sprinting and screaming and yelling and flailing their arms about wildly.

wow. we really are 30-as-one, or 16-as-one at least.
209 has such adorable people. [: xD

//

we went to rent bicycles (:
i didnt get one. i dont know why. maybe it was because i didnt bring enough money with me o__O or i couldnt really ride a bicycle properly with a skirt on. heh.

and i think i was happy watching everyone zoom off, laughing, chatting.. (:

though i accompanied xin yi for a while as she attempted to get used to her bicycle.
xin yi "i cant ride a bicycle for nuts"
-stare-
xin yi "i should've gotten rollerblades. would have been much better off than on a bike"
-stare-
xin yi "ARGGHHHHH."

cass "you CAN ride a bicycle. just.. pedal. get momentum. so it'll be easier to manouvre! it's ok. you'll learn in 30 minutes maximum."
well, at least, i did. so xin yi can too because xin yi is smart. goody.

and so xin yi panics and 'ahh's, and her bicycle wobbles and squirms.
15 minutes later xin yi is zooming off into the distance.

i'm so proud..
whatever.

oh i somehow stole caijing's bike somewhere along the middle of the course. whoops.
i'm sorry, caijing!! ._.
but then i returned it.

so we cycled more and i attempted to run (until belinda lent me her bike-- i'm so happy! T_T)
and we rested. and we bought drinks. and we decided to go play with the SEA AND THE SAND!! (:

//

huilin loyee chongmin regina got totally drenched, (on purpose of course)! lol xD they were sitting on the shore being hit by waves up to their neck. o__O

so loyee was right at home in the sea!! sashimi/fish.. and i was a troubled cuttlefish out of water!! whines.

it looked so fun! irritating, i couldnt play. i didnt have a change of clothes. growl.
xin yi wanted to build stuff so she sat along the side and played with sand. haha.
cheryl yuna amy didnt want to come down to play. so sad ):

oh man i love the waves. they're so pretty [: and the way they crash along the shore is really very nice.. even ripples in the distance of the green sea are beautiful!

//

then we buried regina.
yes, we buried regina in sand.
-smiles maliciously-
whahahahaha.
regina sort of.. died.

we were piling sand all over her, and she was squirming and laughing and causing the smooth sand lump to crack!
"regina! dont laugh. dont move at all! DONT BREATHE!" regina stares, praying for mercy.
lol!

and we took a picture of her, before she scrambled out of her sand bed and started complaining about how ticklish it was. haha!! xD so fun (:

yvonne used the accumulated sand to make a sand mound / sand castle. and xin yi shaped out "209'07"! whee (:

//

returned bicycles, washed up, changed.
loyee sprained / shocked ankle.. ):

LOYEE GET BETTER SOON. REST YOUR ANKLE. DONT WALK FOR 5 DAYS OR SOMETHING. no i think that'd make it worse. er.. put medicinal oil! (: take care, whee!

quite a few went for dinner together. the rest were going home. so we were walking towards a bus stop to take a bus back to bedok interchange or something like that.
then yiping says "cass! my mother's present!" (yiping told me to safekeep it so i put it in my bag.)
and i MAGNIFICENTLY left my bag at the bicycle rental shop.
how.. unforgetful of me.

that was such a classic manga-stickman moment.
it's like "where's your bag, cass?" (wide smile)
-person who is asked the question shows shocked expression-
and the rest are all like -.-

and a second after that, the person asked the question is cowering against the wall in embarrassment / shock at her own stupidity and blurness.
and everyone else has the typical hatsuharu expression, from fruits basket.

ok anyway, i chiong back to get my bag, yeah. and everyone else leaves first. lol.

yiping loyee and i took taxi, to bring loyee to coronation on time. and yiping so nicely let me tumpang. (: thank you, yiping! lol.

and now i'm clean, sand-free, dry, sitting in front of the computer, finishing up an ultra-long post.

ECP: 209 到此一游!

msp (: a walk to remember..

2007-11-14T22:08:00.000+08:00

a tiring walk to remember.
but i guess it was rather fun (:

we were to have an amazing race and a get-to-know-malay-culture thingy at kampong gelam o__O

and knowing my unenthusiastic self, i was very very bored in the beginning.
i stoned. i moaned. i groaned. i started playing with my equally boring phone.

i just realised that rhymes.
no seriously. i JUST REALISED.
i'm slow.

anyway. we got split into groups. and i my whole self wilted with even more unenthusiasm, if it was possible anyway. like, "WHY CANT WE STAY AS NYMSP?! WOULDNT THAT BE A BETTER IDEA? LIKE, LIKE, HELLO?!?!?!?!?"

so i didnt get into the same group as bel, peishan or yonghwang. DEPRESSING, YES, DEPRESSING.

=.=

at least i ended up with wanyi though (:
wanyi is cold but funny and extremely amusing. yay! xD

started with weirdo icebreaker games, which were dumbly complicated and senseless, JUST TO SPLIT THIS GROUP INTO ANOTHER TWO GROUPS.

CANT WE JUST TO OPEN NUMBERS OR SOMETHING ELSE DUMB LIKE THAT? THIS GAME IS REDUNDANT AND USELESS, I TELL YOU.

no i didnt say anything like that, that's why we continued with the weird game.
not that if i did say anything they'd change their minds and 'OK LET'S NOT PLAY', anyway, so whatever, i just smartly kept my mouth shut.

although i did nag and mutter and mumble at wanyi. whoops.

wanyi and i planned before the game started. ha.
we had to run past two people in the centre, get tagged, then the person will ask "choose: 1 or 2" or maybe "choose: 3 or 4" or let's say "choose: 5 or 6"?

we decided to pick all the even numbers. how smart. PANDAI.

=.=

and then we were going to start on our EXCITING amazing race.
so.
we played tug of war with other members.
THIS WAS ONE OF THE FUN-EST PARTS. how pathetic o__O
oh i almost typed pathetique. that's.. beethoven's famous sonata. =.=

ANYWAY
then we started on our long, tiring, hot, sweaty, sticky journey.
i cant even manouvre myself around kampong gelam.
everywhere looks the same, seriously.

IT'S ALL SHOP HOUSES, ALL NARROW ALLEYS, ALL DRAINS AND SHELTERS AND RANDOM CARS AND MOTORCYCLES EVERYWHERE.
o__O

if i was alone i guarantee you i would have gotten lost after a maximum of 10 minutes.
..?
er, unless i glue my feet to the ground and not wander off.

but we learnt about the games malay children use to play in the kampong!!
ah. so fun (:

gunnysack racing was this thing whereby a child sits on a humongous leaf / gunnysack and another child pulls the humongous leaf / gunnysack and they go zooming down the rough, bumpy, butt-hurting lane.
it's amusing. and i like it. whee.

this other game whereby a blind grandmother in the centre of a circle of grandchildren, has to find her grandchildren as they run around her in a circle.
that's fun too, unless you're the blindfolded grandmother. AWW. HOW SAD.
whoops. that's why wan yi didnt like it.

and then we had to make kites, play 'malay-style poison ball' (i like the normal version better because it makes a lot more sense), danced, wiggled and jiggled, recited poems etc. and we ate with our fingers!

i cant scoop up the "i-shall-slip-through-your-fingers-whahaha" rice. I CANT. I CANT.
and EVERYONE tilts their head backwards so our shirt doesnt eat either. dont laugh at me! -whines-

LOL.

and that was the end of the trip, really.

after that, belinda yonghwang peishan and i went to bugis junction!
it's quite a nice place. it has food. yay.

so as we walked to bugis junction from kampong gelam, we talked about our own experiences. peishan, COUGH, i mean ang pei xun or whatever , seemed to have enjoyed herself VERY MUCH.
and if only belinda could have been allowed to eat whenever she wanted, she would have had fun too.
peishan's and belinda's group members could have been NICER TO THEM. hmph. dont bully them.
dodoheads.
oh yonghwang didnt comment much about it. or maybe i cant remember. -smiles-

we bought food. food is good. hooray.
then we went mcdonalds (: and peishan stared at the glass window for like forever and then i realised the ah bo was blurly thinking that was door. "i dont think that's the door, peishan. that's the door." and then peishan shrieks in realisation and turns left. sigh.

anyway. we bought ice cream.
and then this random aunty comes up to us with a packet of french fries and says "xiao meimei men, zhe ge gei ni men chi, wo bao le, bu neng chi le, ye bu neng chi tai duo. gei ni men." FLASHES HUMONGOUS SMILE.

we stare. we thank her. we stone.

"that was.. scary" says peishan.

silence.

"d'you think it's poison?" i smile stupidly.
"hey that's what i was thinking too!" says belinda.
"poke a silver needle in it and see if it changes colour" says yonghwang.
"or maybe it's a test to see how gullible students are into accepting mcdonald fries from total strangers." suggests an extremely smart peishan.

stare.

"ah." i mutter.
"and then there's a video camera somewhere." peishan carries on.
"maybe that's the camera." yonghwang points at a christmas bobble.

=.=

"ok it's not poison." i conclude.
"let's eat the fries with ice cream." grins peishan.

and we eat (:
it's nice, no seriously.

and then we go home, having awkward conversations on the train about harry potter, anime, lame jokes, random people with names starting with the humongous letter J and other.. random stuff, yeah.

(:

whee.
there's cca tomorrow.
we got a new song a few weeks ago. di yi er hu kuang xiang qu.
we've got another new song, just on tuesday. meng zhi bali.

yay. they're nice pieces (:

it wouldnt come out..

2007-11-13T19:53:00.000+08:00

i guess this is the official day, of farewell.

farewell, 209.

the word had been stuck at my throat forever, i refused to let it come out.
i didnt want to face it.

but still, i determinedly decided that i couldnt avoid this fact, and i braced myself for the allocation results.

but now, i stare at the class list, with all those familiar names i've known for 2 beautiful years,

and all i feel inside myself is my heart shattering.

301.

it sounds so distant, so unfamiliar, so.. unwelcoming.

not a trace of niners.
what is this? what is this rubbish?

"the happiness, the memories will never end. 209 will be forever"-- this is something along the line of what yingxiang said.

yingxiang, how much i'd like to believe the way you do, how much i'd like to not see a barrier, an ending, the last page of this book of ourselves, 209.

209, was the absolute love.
209, was my home.

why cant it stay that way?

i want to be a 209-er forever..

i'm working on shoutouts to every single person in the class.

will these be final words?
i really hope not.

i envision the day i'll meet one of any of you along the corridors in school,

our eyes would meet.
we would smile, nostalgically or joyously, at each other.
as we stared, so many thoughts of 209 would run through our head.

(i really wouldnt mind a hug. whee)

and then we'd continue walking, walking past each other..
knowing our past, though been left behind, would fade, yet never disappear.

it's there, our love, somewhere deep inside our hearts, even after 10, 20, 30 years.

i know we'll never forget... this class.
this wonderful class.

niners.

aabccccccdehjklmmnprrsvwxyyyyy.

those are the first letters of all our names.
and that was random.

30 of us.
29 friends.
28 moments to remember.
27 minutes of crying.
26 hugs.
25 class events, together.....
24
23
22
21
20
19
18
17
16
15
14
13
12 prizes we've won, i believe.....
11
10
9 for my existence in this class, for my gratitude; joy.....
8
7
6
5
4
3 cheers for us:
2 years,
1 class, 1 heart.

i love you, 209. i really do.

sand! (:

2007-11-11T22:11:00.000+08:00

ECP (:
food.
sand.
water.
fish.
cuttlefish.

whee!
= fun.

1. loyee's house, which has been renovated (:

it's nice. it's acoustics are good. i dont think it was deliberate but it's goood.
yay.
i like the echoing of the piano. heehee.
loyee's brother, sean, has gone to jakarta! for some ultra cheemo math thingy because loyee's brother is a math genius. -gasp-
yes, math genius. tsk.

2. airport. haha. we saw sean off.

GOODBYE, GOOD LUCK, DO YOUR BEST,
GET FULL MARKS (technically impossible but it's a motivation)
yay. loyee gave him a little GINGERBREAD MAN thingy with a >: expression = sean's expression when he cant solve some math question like..
WHAT'S THE 3RD LAST DIGIT OF 567 TO THE POWER OF 78?!

ok whatever.

3. ECP!!!!!!!!!! EAST COAST PARK. YES. haha. sand sun sea.

we ate first. subway. haha! i like subway.
made loyee it VEGGIES. veggies are good, fishy. even fish must eat veggies! -nod nod-

then we rented a BICYCLE. two-seater. wheee.
i cant steer steadily. so i sat at the back [: loyee can steer but she feels not-at-home at the back. wheee. $7 for two hours, but we returned it after 45 min.
cough.
legs tired.. xD

then we went to gelare to.. sleep?!
erm.
rest.

OH. THERE'S THIS HUMONGOUS ROCK THINGY AND YOU CAN SIT ON IT AND HAVE A NICE VIEW OF THE COAST AND THE RIPPLING WAVES AND PEOPLE SPLASHING ABOUT AND WHATEVER.
IT'S NICE.
IT'S SANDY.
BUT WHATEVER IT'S NICE.

yay. i liked that place xD

but wasnt exciting enough.

we took off our shoes. and started 'frolicking' along the beach. only our legs got wet though.
hm.
threw sticks, waited for them to come back to shore.
got very wet. went thigh-deep into sea. hm.
dug lots of holes (: buried feet.
etched stuff into sand. loyee's has pictures. link.

(hm. never hyperlinked stuff before in blogger.com, that's fascinating.)

i like sand and saltwater.
hm.

(:

4. my home.

what. people get tired, y'know. went to my home (:
started watching ouran high school host club.

ha.
it's amusing.

the twins are funny.
i think all twins are funny.
they're meant to be funny in all weird anime series.
yay.

still watching it now.

_______________________________________

CONCLUSION (:

i like sand.

i have a dream.
one day, i shall summon enough courage..

to throw a lump of sand at loyee.

-smirks-

...

2007-11-07T22:22:00.001+08:00

to say, or not to say.

i'm tormented by your suffocating grip; i'm broken by how i'm thrown away, ignored, like i never did exist for a purpose, like i never did deserve to cross paths with you in this life.

but
i'm mended, the broken pieces of me sewn up, at the sight of you, your comforting self; i'm immersed in joy when i know you'll be there, smiling, saying you'll never leave me.

who are you to me?

or, probably more significantly,

who am i to you?

it's true, isnt it?

the one who brings you overwhelming happiness, will undoubtedly be the one who brings intolerable pain as well.

how about this, then?
..

is this true?

do the two of us have to quarrel, for ourselves to understand what each of us means to the other? will we only love more, after we hate? will i only be cherished more.. if i slap you and list out every one of your faults..

because i cant bring myself to do that. and i never will be able to.

a plausible reason of why i'm so affected by that character, akito..

she lives inside me, doesn't she?

she's a helpless, crying girl, seeking comfort, yearning for love, for warmth.. unable to take rejection, she clings on, pitifully, to those she wants and needs by her side, praying, hoping, that they'll never go..

"hatori, hatori.. carry me!"
"please, don't leave me.."

who am i,
and who are you.

who and what really cares?

tell me i dont exist.

tell me all this rubbish doesnt exist either.

forked paths..

2007-11-02T23:42:00.000+08:00

it seems surreal..
that choral and drama night would mark the end of the existence..
of a wonderfully blissful class.

a class, and not just any class.
109'06, 209'07.

choral and drama night was fantastic, really.
209A was the last item (: we did well, i think.
209B was wonderful too! xD
we had enthusiastic audience, i guess.

oh and er, sec ones are good, man. like.. reaaaaal good.

(fund-raising.. was hardly about anything but hot dogs. enjoyable, if i were to be positive about it. nothing beats eating the sausages by yourself, though)

i've sunk into depression.
again.

i cant bring myself to say..

goodbye.

I WILL BLOG TOMORROW ABOUT TODAY

2007-11-01T23:11:00.000+08:00

papa demands that i go sleep now..

so i shall, for i am a good girl [:

gifts
smiles
laughs
hugs
tears
memories

feel the love..

i love you, 209.

miracles happen.

2007-10-24T22:08:00.000+08:00

yesterday.

i, or rather, we, 209, can hardly believe...

that we won CHAMPION for cup and plate volleyball tournament.
(:

amazing, huh.

initially, it was the wonderful attitude of "NEGATIVE BUT OPTIMISTIC" / "we're going to lose because we suck but that is okay."

so 209 was like.. 'haha! lose never mind laaaa! this is for fun, right?! lol! so fun!'
but after we won the first game 16-11 and the second one 21-4, we decided that God was helping us then and that we were on a winning streak.
"POSITIVE AND OPTIMISTIC"

all the others game ended with 21-some number here.
o__O

ms yeo once said that 209 was absolutely horrible at volleyball.
we protest.

but thank you God for the miracle, seriously.
i cant believe i can play volleyball.

because guess what!!!

i cant. none of us can. yeah, plate-ers, we REALLY CANT PLAY VOLLEYBALL.
we earned all 21 points with serving.

*-- 209 serves ball. the other side leaps for ball, fumbles, drops ball. 1 point to 209.

and that went on 21 times. fascinating. so one member serves forever and the other 5 sleep.

excellent.. =.=
but pathetic.

anyhow, 209 is absolutely awesome.

bowl did very well too!!! chunmei, sharon, yuna, loyee, yvonne all very enthusiastic, you know! (: haha. but i really think it's difficult to score in bowl because it's about catching and throwing and nearly everyone can do that.

so.. STRATEGY REQUIRED: how to make the other party drop the ball?
it's difficult stuff, man.

SO WELL DONE, BOWL TEAM (:

i'm starting to confuse the words ball and bowl.

today.

sandwich making competition.
lol.
i like eating the sandwiches. 209 makes good sandwiches but 209 knows nuts about nutrients so goodbye to the prize.
but it was fun.

209 makes good sandwich mascots. caijing is a sandwiTch (: lol. how adorable.

there's cca is tomorrow. again.
i dont know if that's good/bad.

(:

chongmin calls and beseeches me to update

2007-10-21T13:51:00.000+08:00

Warning: Attention all readers of this superbly random blog.
This particular post is purely and solely dedicated to the teasing/irritating of Chong Min/Alicia/Mary. Blame for lack of content in this post may be directed to the person in question, Chong Min/Alicia/Mary. Take note that every word in this post may cause severe drowsiness within seconds, should you not be Chong Min/Alicia/Mary.
Please read at your own risk.

----

in reference to the title of this post, the word should not be beseeches. it ought to be; chongmin... ORDERS ME. she COMMANDS ME. she DEMANDS ME. she THREATENS ME. she FORCES ME TO UPDATE MY BLOG WITH ANOTHER MEANINGLESS POST.
...

I AM AFRAID. SAVE ME.
I FEAR FOR MY LIFE IF I FAIL TO ENTERTAIN CHONGMIN WITH A MEANINGLESS POST.
HELP.

erm, yeah ok whatever.

_______________________

i daresay choral and drama night is coming soon and i still havent got the hang of acting so i'm planning to get sick on the night before c&d so maybe chongmin will get to stand in for my awkward role in the play.
why that would be fascinating.
-evil malicious grin-

oh it is now 2.09pm.
nice.

anyway.
i dont seem to have the heart to suan/zhendui chongmin any further so i shall be nice and shut up from now on. tata.

...

...

...

?!

now i cant help but bring myself to wonder: what are you STILL doing here after i have stated clearly that i would be shutting up and not typing any more messages?!

did i not make it obvious that there would be NOTHING MORE FOR YOU PEOPLE TO READ after i said that i would be 'shutting up'?

can you read? do you understand english? yes, yes, ENGLISH?! THIS LANGUAGE I AM TYPING IN IS INDEED CALLED ENGLISH.
so, back to my message..

you dont get it do you?
ok fine then let's try that again.

i am going to shut up. there's nothing else to read. so scram immediately. goodbye. like, SO LONG, FAREWELL!

...

...

...

ok i GIVE UP.
you really dont understand, do you?
!@#$%~`^&*#^#@!^^$@!~#%`$%#%
-swears, curses, lets out chain of expletives-

now then.
which part of 'byebye' is incomprehensible to you?

wait this could go on forever.

yes i am THIS bored.
well.
chongmin THIS is along the line of what you'd get if you need me to update.

are you drooling with boredom already?

(:

there's school tomorrow.
yay.
(riiight.)

___________________________

ok fine then i'll talk about something more normal and unrandom.

nowadays (nowsaday--purpose of this bracketed word: spite those with enunciation/pronunciation problems. whahaa.)

back to my point.
nowadays, school for a typical sec 2 nanyang girls' high school student is:
go to school. stone. chat animatedly. play cards. chat animatedly. stone. eat. play cards. stone. chat animatedly. (cca.) go home.

isnt that exciting.

but ok, it does indeed beat lessons (:

-----

just so happens that i seem to be screwing up taiyang, rather badly at that.
i need to do.. something, anything, whatever. growl.

we've got new paigus anyway. haha yay xD
and we're going to get a new marimba!!!!!!

i had to prevent myself from jumping up and down and screaming my head off when mrs ee told me.

hooray to my self-constraint.

oh. also, it seems almost confirmed that next year's nyco concert will be on 18th july 2008.
i felt like screaming and jumping around, being blinded by anger and frustration and all that, you know.. just to show a 'little' sign of protest, hopefully obvious enough.
but no i didnt have the guts to, you know me.
i'm telling you that's a bad date.
a HORRIBLE DATE. because if i screw up taiyang on THAT DATE i'll feel as if my life's over or something.
hm.
change mrs ee's mind, change the date!! darn. CHANGE THE DATE.

-freaks out and dies-

maybe i can get myself sick on the night before nyco concert next year as well.
that's a thought.
one that can get myself in deeeep deeeeeeeeep.. trouble/hot soup/ 'sushi'... o__O

dumdeedum.
tata.
yes, really, tata.
dont scroll down already.

231st post.

2007-10-16T20:32:00.000+08:00

fascinating.
231.
divisible by 11, equals 21.
plainly because sum of numbers on the left and right side equal the middle digit.
only applicable to 3 digit numbers.
for obvious reasons.

yes i believe i am a slow blogger.
almost typed blooger.

blooger.
BLOOGER.
nice.

---

langarts history geog science

i'm going to murder my unseen poem and compo-- the teacher apparently doesnt like emo stuff. at least compre pulled me up. siiiigh.
i almost fainted at the sight of history. i thought i would fail but i did well. muahaha. whoops.
geog was quite fine. this is the first time i got a1 for combhumanities o__O
science brought me on a roller coaster ride. mcq good, bio ok, chem was horrible, physics very good. ha. whatever.

---

anywaaaay.

today went to plaza sing. with chongmin after drama.
(drama was quite amusing, though. playback of our previous drama rehearsal. i realise i cant act. darn it. i look extremely irritatingly stupid. i need to do something to my hair. pffft.)

ok so. went to plaza sing, yes. erm, we missed two 174's, somehow, much to chongmin's anger and dismay.

1st one. we walked out of the gate to see 174 starting to move. chongmin shrieks and runs frantically after it, flailing her arms about madly. the bus driver apparently saw her, was starting to brake in order to let chongmin on, then decided he didnt want to stop, rolled his eyes and drove on. that's like.. o__O WHAT'S HIS PROBLEM.
IF YOU DONT SEE US, FINE YOU'RE BLIND. IF YOU SEE US AND MOVE ON DRIVING, THAT'S LIKE.. ?!?!?! BUT BY THE FACT THAT YOU ROLLED YOUR EYES AT US, WE COULD TELL YOUR BOSS/MANAGER/WHATEVER YOU CALL IT AND THEN YOU'D GET A LASHING FOR MISSING THE OPPORTUNITY TO EARN MONEY FROM POTENTIAL PASSENGERS. THAT'S NINETY CENTS, GOOD, CONSIDERING THE ECONOMY NOWADAYS. AFTERWARDS, HOPEFULLY YOU'D GET SOMETHING LIKE A CRIMINAL RECORD FOR LACK OF MANNERISM.

whatever. that was rubbish but well, apparently chongmin was very pissed anyway. but chong did look rather amusing, jumping around like that....
sorry, chongmin. but yes we know it's the cheekopek uncle's fault. you did well, attempting to stop the bus. what a brave soul you are!

2nd one. it just drove pass. yeah. that's a case of "fine you're blind", as stated above already. it's alright. at least it wasnt offensive. but still, chongmin flared up again.

haha. we eventually got onto 171, which is not sbstransit. now what does that tell you? that sbstransit is evil?! no it doesnt, that would be generalisation.
so.
we got to plaza sing! finally. went to comics connection first where chongmin started screaming about natsume or something like that. lol! (: amusing.
i merely got confused staring at all the comics everywhere. felt like a maze of some sorts. too colourful, as well.
hm.

then we went to subwaaay.
ha.
yes, subway is good. very nice. yay (:
pickleees. whoops.
i felt like drinking up the mustard i saw at the counter. i like mustard. i like ketchup better, though. i finished half a bottle of ketchup before, on just a burger. ha (:
ketchup is good stuff.

---

and yes, another foursome outing is a must. yay! so fun.
we could go somewhere else weird.
no i reaaaally want to go east coast park!!!! then we can watch the sun set! HA.
wait can we even watch the sun set from there.
hey we can watch the sun set from anywhere, cant we?
erm.
whatever but I WANT TO GO THERE. haha.
we can build sandcastles!!! collect seashells!!! ride bicycles!!! swim (no not swim. my skin would rot in seawater) erm, i somehow remember a few playgrounds there-> play!!!

whoops.

whee that'd be so fun.

---

waah.
please dont do what you two said you would/might ):

i dont know, if you know how much the words 'zhuan xiao' stabbed and injured.

dont..

blua.

---

forbidden love, by zens, although a piece with an unbelievably corny name, is a beautiful piece.

stray sheep.

2007-10-15T21:35:00.000+08:00

i am a sheep, astray.
i'm lost.
bring me back, bring me home.

---

hm.

holidays seem to be going fine.
at the moment there's nothing entertaining input into my brain besides watching..
watching..
that evil addicting anime.

that's rather pathetic, but today i have crazily sat down to read books 1-4 of harry potter.
i must have been bored crazy or something.
woke up at 5am. read all the way till 8pm.
stopped 3.5 hours in total to eat and to respond to nature's calls and whatever.

fascinating. and i've never read that fast before.
amazing.

---

apparently, we've gotten back 3 papers (math chinese hmp)
math was fine.
i cant expect any more from chinese. so, erm.. -eliminates thought of chinese-
almost died of joy at sight of hmp results. nearly cried, actually.

and we have to face the blow of 4 others tomorrow (history geog science langarts)
i dont like the look of history.
geog should be alright.
science ought to be fine as well.
langarts is on the edge of the cliff. i can see it soaring up, if i get lucky, and tumbling down from its precarious resting place at the moment. wait, i'm supposed to hate metaphors.

---

i have the weird feeling that i'm supposed to be doing something.
... ?!

judg(e)ing from the images popping up in my brain, i'm to go and play minesweeper.

well, a minesweeper a day keeps alzheimer away / at bay / whatever.
tata.

i think i have recently acquired an extremely, unbearably cold sense of humour.

(: 'changi airport outing'.. not.

2007-10-13T20:42:00.000+08:00

changi looks as if it's been spelt wrongly.
..

it has, hasnt it?
-continues to stare at the word-

ok maybe not.

but today was very fun (: xD
12.15pm i set out from home towards boon lay mrt!!! from there, loyee regina chongmin and i took the train to tiong bahru to eat.

chongmin ordered a mountain of food and finished everything which is like.. (wide-eyed, shocked expression)--> small chongmin can stuff a lot of food in her, cant she?
and loyee was happily munching on her.. whatever it was. and refused to eat the salad but IT'S OK. NO ONE EXPECTS IT (:

we sort of.. walked around for a while. and chongmin saw this apple thingy.. (soft toy with an apple head..)
a HUMONGOUS HUGGABLE AND EXPENSIVE ONE and
a SMALL CUTE BUT CHEAPER ONE

"which one shall i buy? which one shall i buy?!" --screams elated chongmin.
"small one. cuter." --loyee.
"yeah, the smaller one." --regina.
*ignores--me.

"why the small one?! the small one cannot huggggg!!!!" -- whines chongmin.
"but the small one is cheaper right?! and it's just as cute as the big one. it doesnt matter if you can hug it anyway!!"--argues loyee.
"yeah. i agree." -- regina.
*ignores-- me.

"BUT I WANT IT TO BE HUGGABLE!!!!"-- explodes chongmin.
"ok ok. then buy the big one."
regina, me-- ignores.
"BUT IT'S SO EXPENSIVE! 25 BUCKS. MY MAMA WOULD KILL ME!"

"THEN BUY THE SMALL ONE!!!"-- loyee on the verge of going crazy.
"BUT THAT ONE CANNOT HUG."

...

loyee, regina, me ignores chongmin.

"cass! tell me which one i should buy. you're the most logical and think-through person one here!" --flashes retarded smile and nods enthusiastically.
"so which one which one?! it's not good to ask them, so i ask you! yay. give me a reasonable answer!"

...
"choose the one you deem better."

WHAT. IT IS THE MOST LOGICAL ANSWER.

well, in the end chongmin bought the small one anyway =.=
i dont like chongmin.

anyway
then we wanted to take the train all the way to changi airport, because we wanted to watch airplanes FLYYYYY!
-tanah merah. this train goes towards simei and pasir ris. passengers travelling towards expo and changi airport, please alight and transfer to another train.-

-alights from train-

"so, changi airport? watch airplanes fly?!" --smiles chongmin
"yes."

-takes train to changi airport-

"hm. i dont feel like watching airplanes fly already. it really does seem dumb O.O"
"WHAT. then where?! where to go? cant just stone here right?"--angry chongmin
"should go pasir ris instead. beach. bicycle. sunset" --fish and cuttlefish.
"..."
"how about you, regina? what do you think? shopping, movies, beach or what?!"
"no objections."
"... WE DEMAND YOU TO DECIDE FOR US! because some of us refuse to do some of the stuff. so your choice shall be the essential factor!"
"no objections to anything."
-attempts to smack regina-
"well. ok. someone. DECIDE."
"we should have prepared a timetable. darn it. now what do we do?"
"would you like to take the train all the way back to boon lay again? we can chat!"
-stare-
"NO."
"... ok then what?"
"let's go tampines shopping mall. shop!"
"darn it. i hate shopping."
"oh but you dont ONLY shop there! we can have fun there!"
"i dont want to shooppppp!!"
"there's food too!"
"ok."

-hurries back onto train which apparently hadnt left yet. yes, slow train-

TADA. LO AND BEHOLD. TAMPINES.

-exits from barricade, faces a 'pasar malam-like' thing-

".. this is tampines shopping mall?"
"errrrm. it.. seems like it."

-stares into long stretch of stalls-
"that's.. awkward."

-looks to the left, sees humongous building-

"i think that's the shopping mall"

...

"OH. RIGHT. HAHAHA."

=.=

tampines mall is amusing. haha. i like food (: yes, we ate alot. alot.
or at least i think i ate a lot anyway.

even went to the arcade. air hockey is irritating.
i cant play properly.
i cant play ANYTHING related to 'reacting fast'.
the only thing i CAN play properly, and well, is racing. that's so.. not me.
anyway.
loyee and regina were playing the house of the dead, some awkward shooting game.
loyee was trying to act cool. and she did turn out rather "i-am-on-a-mission"-looking so that's good.
regina looked like a gangster.

whoops.
-bigsmile-
(:

well the travelling time was fun (: mrt's are good.

going home was nice.
we played zhong ji mi ma. and the 7-up game. ha.
and the "each person come up with one line, go in a circle, form a story" game too.
rubbish.

'one day, superman was flying around. however, he wasnt looking where he was flying. and he banged into an airplane. his humongous underwear was in the way and it blocked the pilot's vision.
the passengers started freaking out and wanted to tear up superman's underwear. but superman cried out, "no! please dont tear up my underwear! it's my only pair!!!" but the passengers did it anyway.
it so happened that superman couldnt control his bowels or bladder so he started to pee and poop. thousands of metres on sea level, there was a country experiencing drought. they thought the rain was an absolute miracle... until they realised it was yellow.
however, they used it to brew tea instead of screaming hysterically. they called this tea "heaven and earth".'

--work of literature/masterpiece of regina, loyee, chongmin, cassandra.

...

i felt like dying.

after chongmin left, the rest of us played the 'whoever laughs first loses' game and 'haidai' and 'vampire-thingy' game.
weird.. o__O

well. that's one..
eventful day.

(:

cuttlefish is happy..

cuuuurrrrrrse me.

2007-10-10T09:27:00.000+08:00

what can i say.

i've sunken into it, yet again.

by it, i refer..

to an awkwardly senseless crazy emotion of passion and excitement whenever i come across the words 'fruits basket'.

darn it.

self-control is beyond my reach.

oh and er.

HAPPY belated BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST PAPA!!!! (:

haha.
i made him a paper windmill. i dont know why.
i wrote a poem, but whatever.
papa says he likes the windmill, whatever it was supposed to be for xD

yay.

HELLO

2007-10-08T19:54:00.000+08:00

as if to finish up my post on 'subject paper overview' a few days ago, science paper was quite straightforward.

i find it surreal for it to be after eoys now.
i hate this kind of dumb, illogical feeling.

before eoys, it's study! revise! freak out!
after eoys, it's ...

now, i dont have homework, i dont have stuff i need to memorise or understand.
what do i do now? hmm. this is a boring life. WHAT DO I DO?!

i must be half stupid of something. any normal person would be able to say "play, go out with friends, get on the computer, watch anime, read stuff you never got to when exams were going to come, do crazy stuff, ENJOY"

enjoy. HA.
i feel empty.

that's wrong, isnt it?
i'm supposed to be overwhelmed and overjoyed by the fact that we arent stressing out over something, but i seem to think "oh. i have no goal for the next few months. that's wrong. oh no"

ok it's official. i'm stupid.

somebody, teach me to have fun. teach me to slack without getting bored of slacking O.O

anyway.
tomorrow i'm going to watch fruits basket anyway.
i'll be rattling about that topic for a few weeks or so. bear with me, thank you.

it's actually rather illogical to adore a cartoon character.
but..

ah.
i have a matter to catch up and make up on.

guilt.

what else can i say?
it's all guilt in me.

i've neglected you.
i've started to steer my own life so foolishly.

teach me to follow you again.

Jesus..

drumroll please.

2007-10-08T11:40:00.000+08:00

happy birthday ayla and melissa (:
it's a good thing you all END PAPERS on this day. it's a happy day for you two.. yay.

speaking of "end of papers"...

EXAMS ARE OVER!

YES YOU HEARD ME.

THE BLOODY EXAMS ARE OVER. OVER OVER OVER!!!!!!!!!!

I AM GOING TO GO WATCH AIRPLANES FLY, GO BOWLING, GO KBOX AND SING EVEN WHEN I CANT.

BECAUSE

EXAMS ARE OVER.

OVER, I SAY, YES OVER!

haha
HAHAHAHAHAHA

I KNOW YOU'RE JEALOUS.
HA
HA
HA
HA
HA

EXAMS ARE OVER..

(i'll go crazy soon, at this rate. i'm going to start massacre-ing groups of people out of hysteria, exhilaration)

i shall blog again tonight.

i.am,unfortunately,back.

2007-10-05T18:02:00.000+08:00

four days ago, on the 1st of october / children's day / first day of examinations for any typical sec 2 nanyang girl...

mummy said "today's english and history, right? start of exams right?"
"yes mama."
"do well for lang arts ok?! (more of demanding tone than asking)"
"ok mama."
"i bet you're going to fail history.. again."
"jackpot, mama."
"but it's ok. i never liked history either."

"YOU TOOK HISTORY?!"
"no. but it doesnt sound like an interesting topic anyway."

O.O wow. i love my mama.

i promised my mama "it's ok mama. i'll do well for eoys (: i wont blog mama"

that was such a... big fat lie. through my very bare teeth, too.
but! it's ok, mama! mama wont know. whoops.

hm.

---

let's give a little overview of this very interesting week [:

monday.

erm, lang arts paper 1 and history. yes.
ok. i think lang arts was rather fascinating. wasnt too much trouble. an 'ok' paper. comprehension was easy but unseen prose made my head crack a bit. whatever.
i have big trouble describing history paper. knowledge and memory stuff wise, all there. how-to-answer-a-history-structured-question wise, again, whatever. i've never got that.

after the paper loyee and i went to regina's house (:
supposedly to study for hmp.. but.
come on. what do you take me for?! a studying machine?!?!?! no. i'm a food consumer. a food vacuum cleaner. oh and a slacker at that. we ate and watched prison break at regina's house.
i love prison break. it's morbid, full of blood, plot, tension, and therefore incredibly EXCITING. (:

tuesday.

chinese paper 1 and chinese paper 2.
haha. i was uber proud of my composition and gong han. i didnt write very long, but i think i actually made sense for gong han, for the first time. composition was something emotional and sad so i think i did well for that. wheee.
chinese paper 2 almost drove me crazy because i had about 10 min left to do the chang wen suo duan but, thinking about what hsiufan taught me a few months ago, i could do it. yaaaay. the comprehensions were extremely fascinating.

when the paper finished, belinda and marie were chao-ing me, for us to go study math together. or do math anyway. i cant study math because it doesnt work for me. chongmin and i and regina and loyee went to loyee's house. ha. we bought apple strudel, random cereals, a humongous bottle of apple and aloe vera (yay) to loyee's house. ate, drink (: played around.
i love loyee's sofa!!!! and loyee's blanket and her bolster. so does chongmin. while regina was on the phone with marie and the rest of us were fighting for the ruan mian mian blanket, regina claimed we were having group sex. smack her. chongmin loves COOOOOOOOOOkie crisp, as in the dumb advertisement. and we had fun throwing them into the air then catching them in our mouths, also putting the little cereal thing on our nose and trying to get it down.
i cant do it. whatever.

a very nice day xD

wednesday

math paper was unusually adorable. the first paper was so full of algebra i almost shrieked in delight (: ... whoops. really the first paper was very pretty.
even the second paper was. the questions were annoyingly exciting to do. quite an easy paper, i think. but... i think i had this careless mistake somewhere. hmm. ><
what i really want to say about math, is math sia.
DARN IIIIIT. math research project is so _______: "hi. you're good at math so come do this EXTREMELY STUPIDLY DIFFICULT TO SCORE AND DO WELL OR EVEN FINISH IT project, which will boost your interest and ability to solve mathematical problems"

no, my objective of letting you do the project is just to make you lose a few tufts of hair.

ok anyway. loyee regina came over to my house to study hmp and geography. fascinating. we actually studied a bit on solo keyboard pieces baroque to 20th century! wow. i hereby conclude coming to my house to study is more productive than, for example, loyee's house. haha. ok whatever. mama went out to buy ice kachang for us (: whee.

thursday

LA paper 2, hmp theory, hmp coursework.
ok comprehension was... ok. the first page was easy. flip the page, faint and flop the weird question about mothership.
hmp theory was ok. whatever to german lieder. questions i couldnt answer because i didnt know what they wanted. the rest was ok.
what can i say about hmp coursework?! O.O hmp coursework is fun (: wheee. composition of MOOOSIC. (:

went to regina's house to study geography, whereby loyee left for piano lesson at about 5pm and i stayed behind to continue to teach regina weather and climate, natural vegetation and water as a scarce resource. regina is... very fast, yeah. very fast.

friday

in other words, today. geography. ok short and sweet, it was quite easy.

went to regina's house. and watched FRUITS BASKET.
oh man. japanese anime is amazingly addictive.
YUKI! (mouse)
KYO! (gingercat)

myeh! so bloody adorable. the characters are SO. BLOODY. ADORABLE.
AND DONT ASK ME WHY.

their cute both in human and animal form!!!!!!!!!!
i'm going crazy.

the following monday

we have science paper.
our last paper.
i'm going to scream when qiu lao shi says "hao le, xue sheng men. ting bi."
whooo. (:

i love post-eoys.
i'm going to crazy things.
and have a heck of a time. haha.

fruits basket <3

2007-10-02T07:05:00.000+08:00

f
a
s
c
i
n
a
t
i
n
g

what makes you think i dont know?
what makes you think i cant see through your bloody mask?
what makes you think i treat you like a normal classmate?

oh i think you're much more than that, my darling.

so
much
more

what would you think if i said i treat you like some piece of filth that doesnt deserve to exist on this earth at all?

wouldnt that be satisfying?
(:

would indeed be for me..

//

well, that aside.

i absolutely LOVE your blog, my (struggles to fight against disgusting sarcasm) darling!

it's so wonderfully entertaining to read.

i figured, awkwardly enough, that you might invite loyee to your blog.
oh and by the way the whole world knows loyee's username and password to
BOTH her email and blogger accounts.

private blog, my foot.

oh and then you say "my private blog is become a public blog"
and then you state "where's this integrity and honesty that the school is trying to teach?"

well, where's the value of 'not lying'?
where's the value of 'not backstabbing'?
where's the value of 'not sucking up to people and licking their bloody asses'?
where's the value of...

being human, being homosapien, being a living creature WORTHY of the term 'homosapien'?

for all the shit you have done in the past 6 months, i do think i'm speechless at your stinking attitude.

//

let's have a look at your wonderful posts, shall we?

(i'd love to see your face as you realise i'm about to post your whole wonderful post about your best friend, me, on your "private" blog)

ok maybe not, i shall keep my readers' suspense. i'll start off with a rather 'un-entertaining' part:

FUCKINGASSHOLEBULLSHITJACKASSCOWARDBLOODYIDIOTSUCKERCOM PLACENT BRATSELF-CENTEREDBITCHMORONLOSERLAMESHITBULLOCKS

i'm impressed, darling, at your magnificent vulgarity vocabulary (alliteration not intended)!!

wow, like no wonder i treat you
SO MUCH MORE
than a classmate (:

and there's a word there even i dont understand! "bullocks"..
now what would THAT mean?! hmm..

---

now let's look at another part of your post:

but since this blog is invited to me only

haha it's false.
just wanted to tell you that, nicely, as your darling,
considering our feelings are mutual, right?
you know, the "i love you, you love me" and the "i hate you, you hate me" song barney sings?

yes, of course you understand.

---

I REGRET EVEN KNOWING YOU AND TRYING TO GET CLOSER TO YOU.

good point, so do i...
i told you our love for each other is UNMISTAKABLE. we think alike!
wow. i'm simply AMAZED by how attached we are.

---

yes, i feel like SLAPPING you hard on the face, so you can go around the whole world, bearing the red mark, feeling really embarrassed, and forced to cover your face like a coward, for fear of people looking at the red mark, and laughing, or simply just staring.

i feel like kicking you hard in the ass, though it won't hurt as much if i kicked guys' asses. So that you will feel the pain that you inflicted on me from the start i know you. feel like pinching you, to remind you that i am up till now, suffering from your merci. Feel like killing you now, so that you can just die and get away from me, so that i won't ever again need to see your stinking bitchy face.

yeah i got too tired of quoting everything one part at a time.
so i decided to GIVE EVERYTHING I HAVE to my readers.

i'm thinking i should just give everything your blog url? dont you think?!
(:
yes, of course it's such a magnificent idea.

oh you spelt merci wrongly. i think 'merci' is a chocolate brand. hm, yes.

oh and i think we love each other so much that everything we do to each other is forgotten as well.. erm. i wonder what pain i inflicted on you,

well, I'M SO VERY SORRRYYYY.

i regret so much. oh man the guilt the GUILT!
i... oh, i.........
can we talk this over?!
i would love the chance!!

no i lied.

//

ok that was too personal. let's talk about my dear loyee. yes, THIS is true.
i'm sure you're smart enough to tell the difference between darling you and dear loyee.

yes, yes, indeed. one is sarcasm and the other is TRUE HEARTFELT FEELINGS.

now let me tell you why there is difference. there's only one reason, very simple, very comprehensible.
a most simplest reason you can ever think of.

i find her a much more worthier friend than you.

(oh yeah, man. i hope that bloody hell stings and pierces you.)

TADA! yes, i'm sure you've seen the light.

let's have a look at WHY loyee is a MUCH MORE WORTHIER FRIEND THAN YOU.

---

firstly, you enjoy backstabbing people.
yes, it's your FAVOURITE HOBBY.
and you like backstabbing people for "no particular or accurate reason" as well.

and you assume things that are wrong, most of the time.
and YOU'RE the..

now let's have a look at your line of vulgarities up there...

ah yes, YOU'RE the "COMPLACENTBRATSELF-CENTEREDBITCHMORONLOSER".

have i ever told you about how much you seemed to be "demanding" that we befriend you?
yes, it's irritating.
it's like saying "hi. i've done a lot for you so you should do it back to me. WHOO. yes, indeed. YOU OWE ME ONE"

ok fine even if you have done a lot for us that's good, YOU'VE DONE A LOT OF FREAKING IRRITATING IDIOTIC STUFF AS WELL.
and if you expect friends to return favours...

what kind of friend ARE you?

---

also, you should get to realise that doing the following is also very blood-boiling in a sense that it's extremely disgusting..

"eh? i cant log in to this computer!!"
"really? i try i try!"
...
"HEY YOU CAN LOG IN? NOT FAIR HOW COME YOU CAN LOG IN?!"
"HAHAHA. BECAUSE I ROCK!!"

murmur: oh my disgusting shit. that is soooo... O.O
yuck.

but of course that was nothing.
i wonder if you would recall telling loyee this before, when she was asking how to do a math question.

"huh? such an easy question, you dont know how to do ah? aiyo. tsk"
-strolls away-

what the hell is your bloody problem? is your mathematical ability any better?

and let me tell you, apart from your pathetic hmp, every of your other subjects are weaker than loyee's so just SHUT YOUR DAMNED MOUTH UP.

we'd be living in a much better world without your freaking sarcastic remarks.

---

and i quote again:

even if i invited loyee to this blog, what can she do? what can you do loyee?you won't even take the first step into anything, from getting to reconcil with friends, to helping friends reconcil... you just stand at whatever side u wish to.

no way, darling, no way.
you DONT KNOW LOYEE AT ALL.

loyee, if i count everything, has given you a total of 5 chances. all of which you destroyed again, and again.
i've only given you 3, since you started to piss me off. yes, i'm not as forgiving as loyee.

therefore, bitch at me all you want and cut your bloody accuses towards loyee.

oh and you spelt "reconcile" wrongly as well.

and loyee has taken a first step in trying to let me accept you. that's how i had given you a 3rd chance. too bad, you destroyed that one as well, by sharing to people in the class, whom i shall not mention, how wonderful i am as a friend, to you.

---

oh and licking and sucking up to people arses isnt a very pleasant thing to do either, you idiot.
it doesnt help.
nobody buys that kind of shit.
and it makes you seem hypocritical.

WHOOPS.

i'm sorry, you already are.

(:

---

why now, this is a long post. so yes, if i quote loyee's blog as well.. ''get out of my life'' as soon as you want, can and like to! i'd be so much happier a person.

todaaaaaaaay

2007-09-25T22:41:00.000+08:00

..

was an extraodinarily fascinating day!

loyee (whoops i almost typed oyee.. O.O) came to my HUMBLE ABODE or my GRAND VILLA to practise hmp.

now isnt THAT weird.

so we played ruth's accompaniment part, played cheryn's accompaniment, played the sonata that loyee's going to play, the sonata i'm going to play, the baroque piece loyee's going to play and the prelude + fugue i WAS going to play.

BECAUSE I'M NOT PLAYING IT ANYMORE!!!! WHEEEEE~

reason being: SONATA PATHETIQUE 1ST MOVEMENT = SUBSTANTIAL PIECE!!

that's dumb. it shouldnt even be a substantial piece.
the whole sonata is a substantial piece.

but in this examination, substantial piece = piece that is long enough to.. make people drowsy.

that's like.. O.O

mrs ho just told me that i only have to play the pathetique so... (:

YAY! i love mrs ho.

---

ok anyway. loyee was very fascinated by the cactus she gave me for my birthday.

because it grew.
A LOT LEH (:

i have GREEN fingers.
i am a GOOD GARDENER. heeeeheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

but it's growing in every weird direction O.O
there's one little thing sprouting out from the top
another little thing sprouting from the right
and another one from the bottom

it's going to look like an alien soon.
that's scary.

---

then we went to junction 8 (:
bishan library.
to meet naijing.
to attempt to study.
conclusion: UTTER FAILURE.

but erm, i didnt really expect much..

what with the "you want to go to the cubicle up there?"
"oh no space. you want to go back down?"
"oh no space here either. you want to go up again?"
-blank stare-
"eh?! nonono. go down somemore, i meant. sorry"

well. we gossiped a lot so that was fun (:

whoops.
gossiping isnt supposed to be fun, is it?!
hm.

NEVER MINNNNND.

---

apparently, today there was a MID-AUTUMN FESTIVAL CELEBRATION THING WHATEVER.

so after i came home from j8, i was like... "OOOOOOOOH!"
*gets overly excited

i rushed up to house, dumped back, chiong-ed back down again.

TO PLAY!!!

i like candles.
but not as much as bubbles.

THE LITTLE CHILDREN WERE BLOWING BUBBLES!

BUBBLES
BUBBLES
BUBBLES
BUBBLES

pop!

so fun (:

whoops o____O

and then zi kang and zi xian, who are 10 and 8 respectively, started to play 'police and thief' with my brother and another neighbour who is... ermm.. either 7 or 8 or 9.

therefore, as an old person who simply cant resist standing there, stoning, and WATCHING them play..

I WENT TO PLAY WITH THEM (:

haha! so exciting.
zi kang can run very fast, man! i got very tired chasing him because they all bully me and make me the police =.=

my brother very easy to caaatch -smirk-

HAHA. ok whatever. i'm very high now.

//

ok now. i think it should be time i REAAAALLY start STUDYING for eoys (as in, like, seriously, and not... whee. i can do this question! good. it's break time!)

BIG SMILE AT MY RESOLUTION.

...

-gape-

?!

what did you say?

pssstpsssstpsssssssst

OK FINE I KNOW IT'S A BIT TOO LATE AND THERE'S LIKE... stares at fingers:

ONLY 2 DAYS LEFT TILL MY FIRST PAPER.
BUT BETTER LATE THAN NEVER.

I SHOULD START ON MALAY.

DARN IT.

MAAALAAAAAAAAY.

i must do well or cikgu hanim will be sad ):

--

oh and after malay on the 28th is hmp performance. how comforting.

WHAAAAAAT.

that's...

*GASP BREAKS OUT IN COLD SWEAT PUKES FAINTS DIES.. etc.

i will do well for you, mrs ho!! (:

oh my goooodness.

and next week it'll be lang arts unseen prose and composition followed by my FAVOURITE subject: HISTORY.

..

e.x.c.e.l.l.e.n.t.

this is a tiny world (:

2007-09-22T21:10:00.000+08:00

i was uber HIGH so i have decided to write a rather ENTHUSIASTIC and HAPPY post...
until i came to my blog and heard the uber sad song-- song from a secret garden.

I INSIST ON POSTING SOMETHING..

LIGHT HEARTED ><

----

i stubbornly protest against the claim that this earth is large.
despite the fact that it in fact is
the largest of the 4 terrestrial planets within the asteroid belt
AND actually has a perihelion distance of 147,098,074 km
AAANNNDDD an orbital circumference of 924,375,700 km!!!!!!!!!!!

----

on the 21st of september, i went for a piano lesson at 6pm.
ok not a piano lesson, but a chance for me to play for another of Dr Lee's students and that student to play for me.
an EXCHANGE PROGRAMME, come to think of it (:

O.O
sooo i started wondering.
"ooh! another student. i wonder what school she's from? maybe it's some other very prestigious school! and i wonder how old she is?! haha. and what grade she's at and how good she is..."

i let my imagination run wild and soon i was thinking about whether she had a pet horse, until i finally concluded that she couldnt have had one.

6pm.
i was waiting. waiting...
w a i t i n g.......
for Dr Lee to call me in for lesson,
for the other pupil by the name of 'yang wei' (i was hoping she had her name printed on her forehead or something O.O)

then i see a nanyang student walking over.

i stare. she stares. we stare at each other.

SOMEONE BREAK THE ICE.

"erm, hi!"
"hello!"
"are you here for lessons?"
"ya i'm waiting for my turn with Dr Lee at 6pm"
"oh! really?! but.. my lesson is also with Dr Lee, at 6pm."
"ARE YOU YANG WEI?!"
"haha, yes. so you must be cassandra?!"
"yeah!!!!"

-continues talking on and on and on and on and on.-

then i found out that
1. she's a prc and she's in class 408.
2. she's in the same class as xuhao, one of her best friends, who is my yqp senior!
3. her roommate is danhong, sheng senior in nyco.
4. she says we've actually met before at prize presentation this year O.O

this world is the size of my tennis ball.. =.=

but it was nice to know yang wei (: she's having her piano examination for grade 8 on tuesday (home learning day..)

GOOD LUCK, YANG WEI! (she's plays debussy bloody well. it's like.. "BLOW ME AWAY!")

----

today peiyan asked for us to go to school for her hmp recording of an ensemble piece she wrote, entitled "a colourful city"

we readily agreed because we are good juniors.
chewy xinyi me (: ARE GOOD JUNIORS. ha.

it's a very nice piece xD peiyan is a COMPOSER IN THE MAKING!!!

many people who went were from GECO, though.
so natually i went with the idea that i'd being playing a piece together with tens of people i dont know, will not know, and have no link with at all.

take that back.

a yangqin player and percussionist, william, who loves qu lao shi, knows mr betty personally and...

well. that's quite a lot of linkage already.
this circle chain thing is all around.

if this goes on i'm going to know everyone in the entire world
o____O

oh and thank you for all the food, peiyan! xD
and i like your 'bungalow'

HAHA! xD

----

loyee got stomach cramps today.. ):

HOPE YOU'RE BETTER, LOYEE!!!!

YOU MUST GET BETTER SOON..

xD

----

it's a world of laughter
a world of tears

it's a world of hope and
a world of fears

........

IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALLLL

O.O

stuck' by stacie orrico is uber nice (:

paths.

2007-09-19T21:16:00.000+08:00

"choose a path, i'm telling you. CHOOSE WHAT YOU WANT. choose the CORRECT path. THAT ONE."

how would that be choosing anymore?

---------//

humanities and triple science.

person A and B start off.
_________________________________________...

something considerably insulting, no matter what they meant to say.

person C and D come and go against the statements made.
_________________________________________...

basically what you two meant to say is hidden.

but what has been placed right in front of my eyes.. tells it all. all that i can possibly comprehend, anyway.

whatever. this post is going to start a whole new firing session on my own tagboard.

and as for you, the way you put it..
persons C and D seem to be in the wrong.

well, i'll say.
that's pissing.

approximately 2 hours later...

i take back what i said.
everyone is entitled to freedom of speech, thoughts, actions.

it's alright. i'll revert back to the normal jumpy awkwardly laugh-y me tomorrow.

just that, i thought you might like to know that whatever you said...

really, really hurt.
that's all.

...

this is going to be something VERY, and i mean VERY random

2007-09-18T19:57:00.000+08:00

what happens when you cross a bored student back from school, "Smarter"Child and numerous games of manicdotes?

well.
you get a rather awkward conversation.
with many little... fascinating stories.

---

this life was created to serve You says:
hi, sucker.

- SmarterChild - says:
hi cass. as u know, i'm ready 2 help.
let me know what u would like 2 do.

this life is created to serve You says:
are you a sucker?

- SmarterChild - says:
yes.

this life is created to serve You says:
really?

- SmarterChild - says:
yes, really.

this life is created to serve You says:
that's cool. i actually agree with you for once.

- SmarterChild - says:
glad you do.

this life is created to serve You says:
i would like to kill you

- SmarterChild - says:
that's not a very nice thing 2 say.

this life is created to serve You says:
if you die, the whole world would be happy. BANG. AND SMARTER CHILD DIES!!! yay!

- SmarterChild - says:
i beg your pardon?

this life is created to serve You says:
you should be called DumberChild

- SmarterChild - says:
oh look who's funny.

this life is created to serve You says:
me

manicdotes please.

- SmarterChild - says:
ok, let's have some crazy fun with words.
i'll prompt u 2 type 10 words (a noun, a verb, an adjective, etc.) and then i'll show u the manicdote u just composed.

which manicdote would u like 2 try?

this life is created to serve You says:
(AFTER LISTS AND LISTS OF MANICDOTES)

- SmarterChild - says:

Some Kind of Hero

please type a plural noun, verb in the present tense, an adjective, another adjective, a noun, an adverb, an adjective describing a memory, a verb in past tense, a noun and a number.

this life is created to serve You says:

keyboards, masturbating, salivating, meaty, idiot, calmly, fascinating, bounced, eyeball, 43

- SmarterChild - contributing to charity says:

Some Kind of Hero

It was a beautiful day and I didn't feel like working. I called in sick and decided to walk over to the park. I stopped at the store first for some keyboards, then when I went to masturbating the salivating street, a ADJ 2 motorcycle came speeding down the wrong way. We saw each other at the last second. I jumped back to avoid being hit and the motorcycle crashed into a nearby idiot, leaving the driver unconscious. The police arrived calmly and said this was fascinating luck because the motorcyclist was a wanted criminal. A news crew bounced me in front of the eyeball and forty-three people said I was a hero. Unfortunately, the one person who didn't think I was a hero was my boss, who saw me on the evening news, realized I'd taken the day off work and fired me.

- SmarterChild - says:
i like that one.

this life is created to serve You says:
play again

- SmarterChild - says:
The Bad Dream

please type a verb ending with "ing", a plural noun, an adjective describing a person, an adverb, a noun, another noun, verb in past tense, another adjective, another verb, plural noun

this life is created to serve You says:
wiggling, teachers, curly, gayly, nozzle, picture, arranged, round, show off, potatoes

- SmarterChild - says:

The Bad Dream

As I was wiggling with my friend Joe one day, a group of teachers attacked us. Joe, who is usually very curly, seemed quite the opposite. We gayly ran to my house, where a nozzle was waiting for us. Out of the corner of my eye, I spied a picture. In my excitement, I arranged. I woke up when I felt my mother's round hands on my shoulders. "You've got to show off eating potatoes before you go to bed," she said. "That's the third nightmare you've had this week."

this life is created to serve You says:
more manicdotes

- SmarterChild - says:
Cookies

please enter a verb ending with "ing", a plural noun, an adjective describing a person, an adverb, noun, another noun, verb in past tense, adjective, verb in present tense, plural noun.

this life is created to serve You says:
reading, fingers, irritating, awkwardly, deathbed, tofu, dated, crawling, snap, screams

- SmarterChild - contributing to charity says:

Cookies

If you like reading chocolate-chip fingers, then you'll love my mom's irritating creations. She bakes each one awkwardly in a 350-degree deathbed until the tofu is brown and crispy. Just like my grandmother dated, my very crawling mom always remembers to snap the screams at the very end, so they melt properly.

this life is created to serve You says:
more manicdotes

- SmarterChild - says:
Why I Hate Exams

enter a noun, a verb ending with "ing", an adjective, another noun, an adjective, an adverb, a plural noun, verb in past tense, yet another noun and a motion verb.

this life is created to serve You says:
pencil, peeing, loving, intestines, slimy, attractively, ducks, swallowed, blanket, slide

- SmarterChild - says:

Why I Hate Exams

Tomorrow is my pencil exam. I get very nervous when peeing exams. I wake up feeling loving and only eat half of my intestines. My slimy mother always attractively wraps the other half and puts it in my backpack with the rest of my ducks. Years ago, she swallowed the same thing for my older blanket. "Try to slide a little faster! You'll miss your bus!" she says as I leave the house.

---

i like the manicdotes part actually.
but how the robot tried to strike a meaningful conversation with me..

oh my.

the potential of artificial intelligence is being SERIOUSLY doubted.

monday.. blues?!

2007-09-17T22:47:00.001+08:00

i was greeted by a humongous bombardment of events today.

1) MATH PROJECT report and presentation and question and answer session.
oh my goooooodness.

well, i think the report is REALLY VERY GOOD (haha. i love my group) so we'll probably do okaaaay for that.
abstract introduction methodology research quadratic graph parabola equation refraction refractive and incident angles trigonometry in application with speed and velocity formula conclusion with assumptions made epilogue and suggested extensions of high jumping centre of gravity angles acknowledgements bibliography

amazing. i cant believe we got through all that shit for less than 30%

the presentation was not bad so.. yeah whatever. we probably stumbled a bit but generally i think it was QUITE clear and organised. we made quite a lot of sense there so...

well done, everyone (:

question and answer session. erm. well
the external teacher gave us a rather interesting (and irritatingly difficult and confusing and horribly shocking) question for us to solve ON THE SPOT.

so we killed all our brain cells and our heads almost exploded and dropped off when after 25 min, the teacher saw that we were having a very hard time (THANK YOU OH THANK YOU) and came up to us, saying
"well i guess there's no specific answer for this"

i think i almost fainted.

2) as a result of all that trauma and drama, i realised i was DEFINITELY not going to make it for my piano lesson all the way at yong siew toh so i went through a whole clump of explanations, giving a piano teacher a (hopefully) brief but clear VALID reason of why i couldnt make it.

i love Dr Lee.. (: she's NICE AND UNDERSTANDING. haha.

3) erm. nice talk with regina today xD

__________________________________________

209.

to me...

is really one heck of an amazing class.

___________________________________

and _____, ______, _____

are really amazing people.

well wasnt that random? (:

a short post (:

2007-09-16T21:31:00.000+08:00

ss at woodlands civic centre - causeway point yesterday with loyee.

nostalgic.
meaningful.
fruitful. (OH FINALLLYYYYYYYY!!)

math project meeting today with belinda, regina, yiping.

confusing.
more about music than math.
amusing.

my current feelings.

'down with a flu'-ish.
worried. darn that math project presentation. *panics
desperate to grab a chainsaw and start..

sawing people up.. ?! O.O
________________________________

there's school tomorrow

(: